Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 5
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1000 Results for Retail Business
View 41 - 50 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 29,
2021
Chewing A Pen
Tags technology, business, video call, camera, chewing, pen, house, nose, address
Transcript
alice on video call. alice: please stop leaning into the camera while chewing the end of your pen. it makes me want to drive to your house and shove that pen up your nose. male office worker: but you won't do that, right? alice: what's your address?
Friday May 28,
2021
Men Are Stupid Pigs
Tags business, office workers, complaint, office, stupid, pigs, Men, specific, i.q., visayan warty
Transcript
tina: i have a complaint about the men in the office. catbert: all of them? tina: yes, they're all stupid pigs. catbert: can you be more specific? tina: okay, they're basically visayan warty pigs in the i.q. range of 20 to 40.
Thursday May 27,
2021
Dilbert Makes A Friend
Wednesday May 26,
2021
Opposition Research
Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, accomplishments, year, opposition, research, co-workers, ranking, employees, idea
Transcript
wally: it might seem as though i accomplished very little this year. and that's true. but i also have a trove of opposition research on my co-workers. boss: what? wally: ranking employees against one another was your best idea ever.
Tuesday May 25,
2021
Nominate A Coworker
Tags business, months, recommendations, co-workers, office workers, recognize, superior, work, nominated, honest, idea, coffee
Transcript
boss: two months ago, i asked you all for recommendations on co-workers who should be recognized for superior work. on day one, you all nominated yourselves. since then it has been quiet. dilbert: if i'm being honest, it wasn't one of your brightest ideas.
Monday May 24,
2021
Ted Is Great But Not Enough
Tags business, comparison, managers & supervisors, performance, employment, exceptional, fired, universe, sense, complain, reverse psychology
Transcript
boss: ted, your performance this year has been exceptional. but everyone else was even better, so...you're fired. ted: in what universe does that even make sense? boss: you also complain too much.
Sunday May 23,
2021
Million Dollar Bonuses
Tags business, technology, deadline, project, million-dollar, recommendation, lying, clock, weeks, spirit, bonus, mad, finished, no, laptop, coffee
Transcript
boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.
Saturday May 22,
2021
Forty Minutes Late
Tags business, jerk, late, minutes, punish, sarcasm, technology, waiting, cell phone
Transcript
voice from Dilbert's cell phone: i'll be forty minutes late. dilbert: i just wasted twenty minutes waiting! why didn't you tell me as soon as you knew? voice from phone: because i knew you would be a jerk about it. so i punished you. dilbert: oh.
Friday May 21,
2021
C Level Sacrifice
Tags business, political issues, stock market, technology, brand, board, fire, Politics, ruin, human, sacrifice, chief technology officer, performance, employment
Transcript
catbert: the board wants to fire you for speaking out about politics and ruining our brand. ceo: ask if they'll accept a c-level human sacrifice instead. catbert: they said yes. ceo: now fire my cto and tell him it's something about his performance.
Thursday May 20,
2021
Ceo Speaks Out
Tags business, business ethics, political issues, stock, stock market, plunged, voice, injustice, bonus, million, dollars, Advice
Transcript
catbert: our stock plunged 30% because you spoke out on a political issue. ceo: no one can silence my voice when i see a great injustice. catbert: this will cost you your entire bonus of $10 million. ceo: what if i agree to never speak again?


