Returned Calls Comic Strips - Page 5

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122 Results for Returned Calls

View 41 - 50 results for returned calls comic strips. Discover the best "Returned Calls" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2004's comic on:


Tags #corrective lens, #fall in urinal, #calls 911, #building, #happened

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Wally: "To what project would I charge my time in the following situation?" "Let's say that a pair of corrective lenses falls in a urinal, and the owner freaks out and calls 911..." "It hasn't happened yet but I can feel it building up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #unverifiable prodcutivity, #phone call, #built consensus, #attended meetings, #set priorities

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Wally: "This week I achieved unprecedented levels of unverifiable productivity." "I made phone calls, built consensus, displayed leadership, attended meetings and set priorities." "And then we have this meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #phone calls, #plane, #hello jack, #hi jack, #misunderstood, #scared people, #flight attendant, #alraming, #irplane, #learning from trip

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The Boss: what were your key learnings from the trip? Dilbert: I learned that there are people you shouldn't call from a plane. Earlier that day Dilbert: Hi Jack!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #lawyer, #400 per hour, #calls dilbert, #legal

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Hello. "This is your lawyer." Lawyer: "Do you mind if I think about you for a few minutes?" "Um... no." "Mmm... $400 an hour." Dilbert: "Wait.. dear lord... noooo!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #boss stalker, #wait, #offcie, #unscheduled, #suck up, #phone calls end, #still out there

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Man: "We'll be seeing a lot of each other. I'm a stalker." "I wait by his office, unscheduled, ready to suck up to his whenever his phone calls end." The Boss: "Please don't go.. it's still out there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2003's comic on:


Tags #conference calls from mens room, #idiotssyncrasies, #conference calls, #finished newspaper

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"Wally, there have been complaints that you take conference calls from the men's room." "Ok, perhaps I have a few idiosyncrasies, but it's only because I care so much about the work." "No one invited you to those conference calls." "What if I've already finished the newspaper?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #project manager, #returned calls, #emails, #mentally superior, #finished porject, #sleep national holidays

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Asok: "Since I became project manager, no one has returned my calls or responded to my e-mails." Asok: "Luckily, I'm an I.I.T. graduate, mentally superior to most people on Earth, so I finished the project myself." Wally: "Are you tired?" Asok: "I am trained to only sleep during national holidays."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #late worker, #coffee and bagel, #starts late, #woman, #worked 6am, #paid same, #smarter, #casual brillaince

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Wally is walking past Alice's cubicle. Alice calls out, "You're coming to work at nine-thirty?" Alice walks over to Wally and says, "By the time you get your coffee and get your bagel, it'll be ten o'clock!" Alice continues, "I started at six! I've already worked for four hours, and I'll probably stay late!" Alice continues, "Over the course of a lifetime, I'll work twice as much as you!" Alice realizes, "But... we'll be paid the same... and we'll both die anyway." Alice continues, "So.. I guess what you're saying is that you're smarter than I am." Alice yells, "I curse the casual brilliance of your life strategy!!!" Wally walks away and thinks, "My bagel will be extra tasty today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #clammy offcie, #all clammy, #hands are clammy, #underpants

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The Boss is in his office. He thinks, with a panicked expression on his face, "It's not just my desk; it's the chair, too!" The Boss stops Dilbert in the hallway and says, "Dilbert, come here!" The Boss leads Dilbert into his office and says, "Everything in my office feels clammy." The Boss continues, "I first noticed when I touched my phone.. then my mouse." The Boss says, "All clammy." He pauses and then asks, "What could it mean?" Dilbert responds, "It could mean your hands are clammy." Dilbert walks away whistling. The Boss calls after him, "You must never speak of this." At a meeting, Wally turns to The Boss and asks, "Have you ever noticed that everything you sit on feels like underpants?" Dilbert looks away guiltily.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #fifty candiadtes, #good news, #low level lackeys, #once in a lifetime, #paperwork from promotion

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The Boss stops an employee in the hallway and says, "I have some good news for you!" The Boss puts his arm around the employee and says, "The paperwork for your promotion just came through." The Boss says, "There were fifty good candidates for this job." The Boss hands the paperwork to the employee and says, "It's a once-in-a- lifetime opportunity." The Boss continues, "Most people in your specialty are destined to be low-level lackeys forever. But not you!" The employee reads the paperwork and says, "Umm.. my name is Tim. This promotion is for Tom." The Boss replies, "Oh..." He pauses and then continues, "Well.. being a low- level lackey forever is good, too." Tim walks out crying. The Boss calls after him, "Could you tell Tom I have some good news?"