Saved Emails Comic Strips - Page 5

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63 Results for Saved Emails

View 41 - 50 results for saved emails comic strips. Discover the best "Saved Emails" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #send threatening emails, #train new guy, #easily downsize later, #boss threatens alice, #job security, #male, #female, #training, #alices bad advice

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The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #project manager, #returned calls, #emails, #mentally superior, #finished porject, #sleep national holidays

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Asok: "Since I became project manager, no one has returned my calls or responded to my e-mails." Asok: "Luckily, I'm an I.I.T. graduate, mentally superior to most people on Earth, so I finished the project myself." Wally: "Are you tired?" Asok: "I am trained to only sleep during national holidays."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #saved money, #hired guy, #unlucky, #many problems, #ex boyfreind, #sobers up

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The Boss introduces a new employee to Dilbert, "We saved money by hiring a guy who's had many personal problems." The Boss continues, "But we're sure he was just unlucky. No one would invite that many problems into his life." The new employee's cell phone rings. The new employee says into his cell phone, "Yes, of course your ex-boyfriend can stay with us until the choppers leave and he sobers up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #extreme programming., #code writing, #team, #tw programmers, #one computer, #productive arrangement, #whistle both nostrils, #saved on harmonicas, #business

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Extreme Programming. Wally and Dilbert are sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "The two of you will be a code-writing team." The Boss continues, "Studies prove that two programmers on one computer is the most productive arrangement." Dilbert types with a furrowed brow. Wally says, "Sometimes I can whistle through both nostrils. I've saved a fortune in harmonicas."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2002's comic on:


Tags #30 thousand employees, #emails jokes per week, #file bankruptcy, #lost prodcutivity, #ten million, #holding employee responsible

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Catbert says to Tina, "Tina, our records show that you forward an average of nineteen e-mail jokes per week." Catbert continues, "Each joke goes to 30,000 employees, costing us ten million per year in lost productivity." Catbert concludes, "We plan to blame you when we file for bankruptcy next week." Tina is visibly worried.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #email, #engineer, #huge, #huge buzz, #huge success, #sales increase, #six emails, #track numbers, #engineering

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A coworker addresses the meeting, "The ad campaign was a huge, huge success!" The Boss responds, "Wow!" Dilbert responds, "Define 'huge, huge' success.' How much did sales increase?" The coworker replies, "We don't track those numbers." The coworker continues, "But I know the ad created a huge buzz because of all the e-mail I got the next day." Dilbert asks the coworker, "How many messages did you get?" The coworker responds, "Six. But that's a lot for one topic." The Boss exclaims, "Wow! Six!" Dilbert responds, "How many of the six were from your own employees?" The coworker turns to The Boss and asks, "Who invited the engineer?" The Boss replies, "I thought he was with you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consults, #consulting report, #exclusive rights, #microsoft, #dos, #good feeling, #behind the times

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The Boss says to his staff, "I saved the money by buying a used consulting report." The Boss continues, "We're going to give the exclusive rights for something called DOS to something called Microsoft." The Boss adds, "I have a good feeling about this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2000's comic on:


Tags #emails, #love emails, #threats of firing, #dating boss, #regrets

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Mordac types a message to Ming. "Dearest Ming, My love for you is boundless. Mordac" Mordac continues his message. "P.S. If you don't stop putting food garbage in the recycling bin you will be terminated." Ming says to Dilbert after reading Mordacs message, "Never date your boss." Dilbert replies, confused "Okay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2000's comic on:


Tags #anti spam software, #incoming email, #key words, #advertisement, #accidental emails, #sale

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Dilbert is at his computer typing, Dogbert is sitting on the desk on top of a sheet of paper. Dilbert says: "My anti-spam software is complete." Dilbert says: "It checks my incoming e-mail for key words." Dilbert says: "Then it deletes anything that looks like an advertisement." Dogbert says: "Suppose a beatiful woman sends you a message saying..." Dogbert says: "I am a model for Victoria's Secret. I want to date you on my sailboat." Dogbert says: "But she spells sail s-a-l-e." "What then?" Dilbert stares at the computer. Dilbert asks Dogbert: "What's she wearing?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #asok dsitraught, #can't do work, #no response, #emails voice mails, #pathetic defeated losers, #Wally

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Asok leans on Wally's desk. Wally sits at his computer. Asok says, "No one returns my phone calls.... no reads the e-mail I send." Asok says, "I find myself hanging around with other pathetic, defeated losers." Asok says, "No offense." Wally says, "None taken."