Security Precaution Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

116 Results for Security Precaution

View 41 - 50 results for security precaution comic strips. Discover the best "Security Precaution" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security access, #canceled, #accident, #mistake, #scared, #fugitive, #nervous, #invisible, #teach, #useless, #hvac, #breathing, #cubicle, #blend in, #secuirty guard

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "My security access was accidentally canceled and now I'm a fugitive." The Boss says, "Can you teach me to be as useless as you are so I'm invisible for all practical purposes?" Guard says, "I hear breathing but it must be the HVAC system." Wally says, "Be the cubicle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #wrong, #termination, #fired, #documents, #security access, #passwords, #fix, #fugitive, #security, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Carol, you filled out Ted's termination documents wrong. You put my name in the box as the fired employee." The Boss says, "My security access has been revoked. My phone is shut off, and my passwords are deactivated." The Boss says, "You need to fix this." Carol says, "Security, I found the fugitive."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #urban legends, #reality, #check up, #underwear, #doctor, #exam, #social security number, #tic tacs, #pills, #trick, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't tell the difference between urban legends and reality." Doctor says, "I'll need your social security number so I can tell the government not to count any votes you cast." The Boss says, "You can do that?" Doctor says, "Here're some pills that look exactly like tic tacs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punishment, #beard, #mislead, #book, #worker, #background check, #innocent, #screaming

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ted, I just got the results of your security clearance background check." The Boss says, "Homeland security ordered me to beat you to death with our emergency preparedness binder." Ted says, "But?.I haven't done anything wrong!" The Boss says, "I might have said some things about your new beard."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #firing, #launching, #spring, #ridiculous, #surprised, #worried, #scared, #evil, #cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "My old policy was to have security immediately escort out anyone I fired." Sproing! Catbert says, "But that left too much time for weeping."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appointment, #argument, #ridiculous, #security, #struggling, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Hi, I'm Tom Jackson. I have a meeting with your boss." Carol says, "He has no one by that name on his calendar." Carol says, "The only people he's meeting today are Fob Meterfon, Gom Axfon, and Dabe Aggams." Man says, "Maybe when your boss said he was meeting with 'Tom Jackson' you heard it as 'Gom Axfon.'" Carol says, "Is that how you want to play this? Really?" Carol says, "Security, come arrest this man!!" Man says, "I'm Gom Axfon! I'm Gom Axfon!" The Boss says, "Where's Tom Jackson?" Carol says, "Don't you start with me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #defense, #security, #workstation, #logged in, #netowrk, #teach someone a lesson, #activating defensive wedgie system, #violated perimeter, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: This workstation is still logged in to the network. It's time to teach someone a lesson about security. I'll just go in here and... Computer: WARNING! WARNING! IDIOT ALERT! The boss: GAAA! Computer: ACTIVATING DEFENSIVE WEDGIE SYSTEM.Dilbert: I have to go. Some idiot violated my perimeter. The boss: Please make it stop. Dilbert: Then how would you learn?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security software, #insisting, #critical updates, #critical upadtes, #no win

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "My security software kept insisting that I download critical updates." Wally says, "I didn't have time to do all that, and I couldn't risk using my computer without critical updates. It was a no-win situation." The Boss says, "Did you accomplish anything this week?" Wally says, "What part of 'no-win' is confusing you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #thrown out window, #press charges, #security, #gunning for job, #hire for yacht, #policeman

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My CEO threw me through a fifth-floor window. I'd like to press charges." A policeman says, "Your CEO? Do you think he would hire me to do security on his yacht?" Dilbert says, "No." The policeman says, "Would he hire me if I club you with this stick-thing?" Dilbert says, "Maybe."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont know, #fail test, #it is what it is, #security audit, #developers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The security audit accidentally locked all of the developers out of the system. The Boss: Well. It is what it is. Dilbert: How does that help? The Boss: You don't know what you don't know. Dilbert: Congratulations. You're the first human to fail the turing test. The Boss: What does that mean?Um... Dilbert: It is what it is? The Boss: Why didn't you say that in the first place?