Single Source Vendor Comic Strips - Page 5

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163 Results for Single Source Vendor

View 41 - 50 results for single source vendor comic strips. Discover the best "Single Source Vendor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #high priorities, #standing, #coffee, #vendor comparison, #face front, #work ethic, #lazy, #suspicious, #annoyed

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The Boss says, "Wally, did you finish the vendor comparison?" Wally says, "I'm proud to say I did not." Wally says, "You told me to focus on my highest priorities, and that wasn't one of them." The Boss says, "So? when can I expect it?" Wally says, "Logically, that would be never." Wally says, "If that task ever became the most important thing I was doing, you'd eliminate my position." The Boss says, "True. But at least you're getting the high priority stuff done, right?" Wally says, "So far, it's taking all of my energy to avoid doing the low priorities."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #lazy, #not working, #admitting, #patience

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Wally says, "I think my single point of contact died." Wally says, "I haven?t heard from him for three months. I don't know the name of his projec or any other people on it." The Boss says, "What have you been doing for three months?" Wally says, "Are you implying that patience is not a virtue?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #brilliant, #moron, #appearance, #superficial, #beard, #silent, #Funny, #business

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The Boss says, "I invited silent Gary to help us decide on a technology direction." The Boss says, "We think he's a genius because he has a beard and he never speaks." The Boss says, "Gary, do you think we should use open source software for our support platform?" The Boss says, "Here it comes. He's rubbing his beard and giving me creepy eye contact." THe Boss says, "I detect a slight hint of disgust. It means Gary hates the idea! The Boss says, "Yes, it's all so obvious now. This is the worst idea in the history of mankind." The Boss says, "THe meeting is over. Silent Gary has spoken." Dilbert says, "You're actually a moron, aren't you?" Gary says, "Don't ruin this for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #talking, #vendor, #pitching, #idea, #praying, #agreeing, #begging, #promises, #ridiculous

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Man says, "We have the best hidden costs of any vendor." Man says, "Our upgrade and maintenance fees won't kick in until you've already received a bonus for reducing costs." Man thinks, "Please, please, please be a sociopath." Wally says, "Sounds good. I'm not a big fan of our stockholders."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #criticism, #ridicule, #stupidity, #ignoring, #distracted, #work, #desk, #forgetting

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the Boss says, "Why didn't you get my input on the vendor selection?" Dilbert says, "I tried, but?" Dilbert says, "You're so easily distracted that for all practical purposes you're nothing but furniture with coffee breath." The Boss says, "Where were we?" Dilbert says, "You were praising me for my good attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #question, #ridiculous, #serious, #confused, #annoyed, #vendor, #stupidity, #business

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The Boss says, "Is there any risk that the new software will erase our data?" Dilbert says, "Um?No." The boss says, "Did you ask the vendor that question?" Dilbert says, "Well, no, I?" The boss says, "Then you can't be sure, can you?" Dilbert says, "We outsource our payroll service. The payroll data isn't even on our servers." The boss says, "Isn't everything connected to everything else by the internet?" Dilbert says, "You want me to ask our vendor if his software will hunt down our payroll data from across the internet and try to kill it?" Dilbert says, "And you think he might say yes?" The boss says, "Better safe than sorry." Later that day Man says, "Yes, sometimes it does that. You're the first to ask." Dilbert thinks, "Shoot me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #lazy, #new employee, #youth, #argument, #violence, #pain, #victory

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Wally says, "And obviously I can't do anything until our floom vendor updates the glimrods." Man says, "I'll bitspew a protopatch to your glimrod array and you can get right to work." Sometimes a young engineer challenges the dominant work-avoider in the herd. Wally says, "Oh, really?" Wally says, "Too bad the router isn't configured to handle protopatch server traffic." Man says, "I'll remotely reconfigure the router to think the protopatch server is a hexadulian data compressor." Wally says, "If you do that, you'll crash the firewall and expose everyone at this table to identity theft!" Tina says, "Stop that! I have enough problems!" Punch! Wally says, "Never go network on me, kid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #eat, #scare, #Word, #troll, #dress code, #cubicle, #scaring vendors, #word gets around

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Dilbert: I got reassigned to manage our legacy systems. The dress code is "troll." My cubicle is under the walkway. My side job is scaring vendors. Dogbert: Is that hard? Dilbert: Only the first day. After you eat one vendor, work gets around.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #behind schedule, #defective equipment, #improbable event, #reliable vendor, #sales guy, #golfing, #bought hat, #impossible boss, #on the hook

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The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because your project is behind schedule." Dilbert says, "That's because the vendor delivered defective equipment." The Boss says, "It is your job to anticipate that sort of problem and head it off." Dilbert says, "It isn't possible to anticipate and head off every improbable event." The Boss says, "Well, you could have picked a more reliable vendor." Dilbert says, "You told me to use this vendor because the sales guy took you golfing and bought you a hat." The Boss says, "Well, you should have seen that coming and burned down all hat factories a year ago." Dilbert says, "He would have bribed you another way." The Boss says, "That's what lazy people say."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #approved vendor list, #boss, #no one relaible, #reliable

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Dilbert: Do you have the approved vendor list?" Secretary: Hmmm, Alice and Asok asked for that list too Are you one of three people assigned to the same project because your boss believes none of you are reliable?" " Dilbert: Maybe. Secretay: Hmmm, and you're the last one to ask for the list.