Stick A Hose Comic Strips - Page 5

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83 Results for Stick A Hose

View 41 - 50 results for stick a hose comic strips. Discover the best "Stick A Hose" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #desk for month, #critical, #back of pile

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The boss sits at his desk with a huge pile of papers in front of him. The boss thinks, "This one has been on my desk for a month it's critical." The boss thinks, "I'll stick it back in the pile and see if that helps." The boss thinks, "Yes, I feel better already."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1998's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #land on moon, #temperature, #oxygen levels, #space program, #hoax, #nasa hiding, #love engineers

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The cubicle lands on the moon. Dilbert says, "We're the first cubicle to land on the moon." Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the surface of the moon. Dilbert says, "The temperature and oxygen levels are fine. Apparently the space program is a hoax." Dogbert says, "NASA must be hiding something here." Two women appear. The women hold wine glasses and wear dresses. The brunette says, "Hi. We're the women who love engineers." The blond has a heart above her head. Dilbert's hair and tie stick straight up. Dilbert's eyebrows raise. Dobert's ear's fly up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #technical recomendation, #useless and weak, #decisions, #helvetica font, #wrong, #coach, #wally and boss, #desk

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Wally stick his head into The Boss's office he is holding a piece of paper. Wally says, "I finished the technical recommendation you requested." Wally gives the report to The Boss. Wally says, "At first I was miffed that you told me what recommendation you wanted." Wally explains, "It made me feel useless and weak." The Boss reads the recommendation. Wally says, "But rather than dwell on my powerlessness." Wally raises his arm, enpowered. Wally says, "I decided to find joy in the one decision that I CAN make." Wally says, "I chose a Helvetica type font. And I never looked back." The Boss says, "Oh, that's what's wrong with it." The Boss thinks, "I coach and I coach, but they still walk out of here all rubber-legged."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #quick phone call, #make small talk, #brought a magazine, #alice, #panty hose

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At the staff meeting, The Boss pokes his head in and says, "I have to make a quick phone call." Dilbert says, "Do you want to make small talk?" Wally says, "No." Wally says, "I brought a magazine." Dilbert asks,"Could you tear out a few pages for me to read?" Wally says, "That wouldn't be right." Dilbert says, "Give me some pages or else I'll ask Alice about panty hose." Dilbert says, "You wouldn't dare." Dilbert says, "So, Alice, what do you think about the concept of panty hose?" Alice screams, "Aaargh!! What moron invented leg covers that can be destroyed by touching a twig?!" Wally tears some pages out from his magazine and offers them to Dilbert saying, "Make it stop!" Dilbert says, "Too late." Alice puts her legs up on the table and says, "Look at this!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1997's comic on:


Tags #mob, #stupid people, #attack dogbert, #drink hose water, #isn't working, #grass, #attack, #ruin our lawn, #spraying water, #hose fight

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CAption: A mob of stupid people attack Dogbert's house. One in-duh-vidual says, "Our plan to drink all of his hose water isn't working." Another in-duh-vidual has a garden hose in his mouth and looks as if he is about to burst. The first in-duh-vidual says, "Hey, careful! You're getting water all over the grass..." Another person says, "Wait, that gives me an idea!" Dilbert reads the newspaper. "How's the attack going?" Dogbert replies, "They tried to ruin our lawn by spraying water on it. But now it's turned into a hose fight."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #stupid people, #insulted, #formed mob, #take abuse, #survive, #water, #drink water, #portesters, #signs

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Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window. Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. All of the stupid people you've insulted have formed a mob and surrounded our house." The in-duh-viduals hold signs that say, "Down with Dogbert." One says to another, "We don't have to take this abuse.. let's see how long he can survivce without water!" Dilbert says, "They're taking turns putting our hose in their mouths. I think they're trying to drink all of our water."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #downsized, #fate, #vote by email, #jimmy carter, #monitor voting

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Dogbert says, "Should the Dinosaurs be downsized? You decide their fate." Bob, Dawn and Rex stand to one side looking worried. Vote by email: dinosaurs@unitedmedia.com A: I love the dinosaurs! B: Stick to office jokes! C: No talking animals! D: I don't have an opinion, but I like to vote! E: Get rid of everyone so I can use the blank space for notes. Ratbert says, 'There's a Jimmy Carter here to monitor the voting." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #first salesperson, #noah, #sell ark, #animals, #yacht, #sales babble, #disguise motives, #pioneered lame joke, #weather, #reach quota, #blaming engineering, #greatest innovation

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Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the couch. Ratbert asks, "Who was the world's first salesperson, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Some people say it was a guy named Noah." The caption says, "Noah's last name was content." Noah says, "I have a big, curly stick and I don't even know why." The caption says, "His job was to sell an ark cruise to animals." Noah asks an opossum hanging in a tree, "Did I say ark? I meant yacht." The caption says, "He invented soemthing called sales-babble to disquise his motives." Noah says, "We'll partner to leverage our value-adds in a win-win proposition." A beaver looks confused. The caption says, "He pioneered the lame joke." Noah asks a giraffe, "How's the weather up there? Hee hee!" The caption says, "When he couldn't reach quota, he got creative." Noah hands a unicorn horn to a cat and says, "Strap this to your head and don't ask questions." The caption says, "But his greatest innovation he called 'blaming engineering.'" An angry bear tells Noah, "I can't find the honey spa." Noah thinks, "Think fast."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #business startegy, #example, #good strategy, #learn, #panty hose, #ratbert the consultant, #walmarts

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Alice, Ratbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "'Wal-Mart's' business strategy was very successful. You can learn from their example." Alice asks, "Does their strategy involve sitting around and making irrelevant comparisons to other companies?" Ratbert replies, "All I know for sure is that they don't let rats try on all the pantyhose in the store." Wally says, "Good strategy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 1997's comic on:


Tags #answer this quiz, #bill gates, #towel boy, #humans are primates, #three monkeys, #stupid trick question

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Dilbert stands in a room filled with electronic equipment. A voice coming from a monitor says, "You have been chosen as Bill Gates' towel boy. But first you must answer this quiz." The voice continues, "You're in a room with three monkeys. One has a banana, one has a stick, one has nothing. Which primate is the smartest?" Dilbert says, "Um . . ." Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert says, "I guess the successful towel boys know that humans are primates too." DIlbert says angrily, "Stupid trick question."