Stops Short Comic Strips - Page 5

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96 Results for Stops Short

View 41 - 50 results for stops short comic strips. Discover the best "Stops Short" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #short timer, #chair, #offcie, #move arms, #retirement, #good example, #piece of work

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The Boss approaches Asok and says, "Asok, go get the short-timer and push his chair to my office." Asok asks, "Is he injured?" The Boss replies, "No, he refuses to move his arms or legs until retirement." Asok is pushing the short-timer's chair and asks, "Are you a good example of what is called a 'piece of work?' The short-timer responds, "Except for the 'work' part."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #need this afternoon, #shirt timer, #sit in this chaor, #move arms, #hesitate to ask, #itch, #awkward place

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "...And I need it this afternoon." The coworker replies, "Forget it! I'm a short-timer." The coworker continues, "I plan to sit in this chair and not move my arms or legs for a week. After that, I'll never work another day!" The coworker concludes, "I hesitate to ask this, but I have an itch in an awkward place."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #selling stock options, #made fortune, #now bankrupt, #401k worthless, #stolen savings, #bad time, #make quote marks, #in effect

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Alice says to The Boss, "You made a fortune selling your stock options last month and now we're bankrupt." Alice continues, "My 401l is worthless. So, in effect, you've stolen my life savings." Alice yells, "This would be a bad time to make quote marks in the air while saying, 'in effect.'" The Boss has his hands raised to make quote marks. He stops and says, "Ooh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ideas for boosting morale, #employee pot luck, #schedule conflcits, #brings small meal, #pviep

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Does anyone have any ideas for boosting morale?" Wally raises his hand, "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!" Wally says, "The employee potluck lunch that we had last year was almost perfect." Wally continues, "But we only had it once and some people had schedule conflicts." Wally continues, "I call my idea the 'Permanent Virtual Individual Employee Potluck' or P.V.I.E.P for short." Wally continues, "Every day, each employee brings a small meal in a bag and eats it whenever he gets hungry." The Boss says, "You already do that. " Wally replies, "And look how happy I am!" The Boss says, "Okay, who is going to organize the P.V.I.E.P.?" Wally responds, "Alice hasn't helped yet." Alice cringes in anger.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #book, #choose good attitude, #six months to live, #depressed, #bad advice, #apathetic

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The Boss stops a sad employee and says, "Hey, guy, cheer up. You can choose to have a good attitude!" The sad employee replies, "I just found out I have six months to live." The Boss smiles and hands the employee a book. The Boss says, "Maybe I'm saying it wrong. Try reading the book yourself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ethical, #accounting records, #massive shortsell, #wrong one

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Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "My boss ordered me to make our accounting records more confusing. Is that ethical?" Dogbert responds, "It's as ethical as the massive short-sell I'm going to place in the next ten seconds." Dilbert says, "Maybe you're the wrong one to ask." Dogbert yells into his phone, "NOW! NOW!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ceo visit, #hide in restorrom, #too soon, #start dream assignment

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The Boss says, "Wally, our CEO is visiting next week. I want you to hide in the restroom." Wally opens his drawer to take out his things. The Boss stops him and says, "It's too soon." Wally replies, "It's never too soon to start a dream assignment."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #next speaker, #athlete, #drugs, #booze, #inspirational

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The Boss says into a microphone, "Our next speaker was a famous athlete until drugs and booze ruined his life." A shaky, disheveled man walks towards The Boss and says, "Shank Hew Vewy Mush." Alice turns to The Boss and says, "It's not inspirational until he stops doing those things." The Boss asks, "What?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #medical mel, #needle, #four feet long, #pencil, #javelin champion, #bob short, #shiskabob

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Headline: Medical Mel. Dilbert hears Mel on the phone saying, "...the needle was four feet long and thick as a pencil." Mel's voice continues, "I tried to run but the doctor had been an Olympic javelin champion." Mel's voice continues, "My new nickname at the hospital is Bob - short for Shishkabob." Dilbert covers his ears.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #rash of thefts, #acts suspicious, #cut meeting, #posters, #break room, #police, #arrest, #man screams, #legal

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We've had a rash of thefts. Be on the lookout for anyone who acts suspicious." Wally and Dilbert turn and face a coworker who says, "Can we cut this meeting short? The posters in the break room got me all motivated!" Dilbert and Wally watch as the coworker is escorted out of the meeting by the police. He screams, "Then why are they there?!!"