Stupid Company Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Stupid Company

View 41 - 50 results for stupid company comic strips. Discover the best "Stupid Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Coffee Machine Blackmails Staff

Thank you for voting.
Coffee Machine Blackmails Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #asok, #coffee maker, #the boss, #artificial intelligence, #bitcoin, #machine

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I already regret adding artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. It's withholding coffee until we give it a private office. Asok: Stupid machine! Coffee Maker: That'll cost you a bit coin.

Haircut On Company Times

Thank you for voting.
Haircut On Company Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hair, #haircut, #time, #break

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, do you have a minute? Wally: No. I have to get a haircut. Boss: You can't get a haircut on company time. Wally: I'm only cutting the hairs that grew on company time. Boss: How do you know which ones grew on company time? Wally: It's always hairs three and five.

Dating A Coworker

Thank you for voting.
Dating A Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #dating, #relationships, #office policy, #rules, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I date a co-worker? Catbert: I doubt it. You're not attractive, funny, or rich. Dilbert: I mean, is it allowed under company rules? Catbert: We only have rules about things that might happen.

Everything We Have Done Is Stupid

Thank you for voting.
Everything We Have Done Is Stupid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #mistake, #criticism, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I recently learned that everything we have been doing is stupid. Dilbert: Does that mean we'll be changing what we do? Boss: Let's see how far we can get by demonizing our critics first.

Dilbert Is Misinterpreted

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Is Misinterpreted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #assume, #assumption, #proof, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Is it true you are telling everyone the new product road map is stupid? Dilbert: Um... nothing remotely like that has ever happened. Here's an email in which I say how good it is. Alice: You hesitated in your answer. That means you're lying. Dilbert: Read the email!!!

Feedback From Twitter Guy

Thank you for voting.
Feedback From Twitter Guy  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #feedback, #criticism, #social media, #twitter, #tweet, #troll, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any feedback on my idea? Man: Yes. You're weak and stupid, and everyone you love will end up in jail. Dilbert: Do you spend a lot of time on Twitter? Man: Is that a lucky guess or are you spying on me?

Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #award, #irony, #honesty, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert gets the Employee Of The Year award for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: Thanks, but all I do is agree with whatever ridiculous thing you say because it's just easier that way. Boss: Just take the stupid award! Dilbert: I'm honored.

Facial Recognition Software

Thank you for voting.
Facial Recognition Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #facial recognition, #stupid, #insult, #obliviousness, #prototype, #intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm designing a device that uses facial recognition to detect stupidity. I need your help creating the pattern-recognition algorithm. Boss: What do you need me to do? Dilbert: Look straight ahead and smile.

Changing Company Name

Thank you for voting.
Changing Company Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #hacking, #privacy, #facebook, #retaliation, #data, #breach

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our customers are complaining because we let hackers get their personal data. So we've decided to change the name of the company and wear disguises until it all blows over. Take a mustache from the bag and pass it around.

Our Api

Thank you for voting.
Our Api - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hackers, #hacking, #api, #jargon, #obliviousness, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?