Talk Over People Comic Strips - Page 5

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1000 Results for Talk Over People

View 41 - 50 results for talk over people comic strips. Discover the best "Talk Over People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Satellite Launch

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Satellite Launch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #satellite, #launch, #radar, #alien, #spaceship, #systems, #technology, #reality, #suggestion, #rocket, #trajectory, #bird, #belgium

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dilbert in control room with others: we've triple-checked all systems, and we are ready to launch the satellite. nothing can go wrong. initiating launch. boss: nothing can go wrong? what if an alien spaceship appears over the launch site? dilbert: gaaa!!! don't jinx us. boss: that's not how reality works. i can't make things happen just by suggesting them. dilbert: you're wrong! that is exactly how reality works! wa;;y: something just appeared on radar directly above the rockets trajectory. boss: maybe it's a bird. wally: it's the size of belgium.

Real Men Multitask

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Real Men Multitask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #software design, #concentrate, #multitask, #distraction, #kill, #error

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boss: do you ever think about the fact that one small error in your software design could kill hundreds of people? all it would take is some kind of distraction while you are trying to concentrate. dilbert: are you done? boss: a real man could multitask in this situation.

Yes Queen

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Yes Queen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business people, #sarcasm, #value, #appreciation, #queen, #devalue

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asok: alice, i want you to know that i hear you and i value you. alice: that's terrific maybe you could stop talking to me in that super creepy and condescending way. asok: yes, queen. alice: who broke you?

Banana Is Not An Apple

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Banana Is Not An Apple - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #apple, #argue, #banana, #business, #doctored image, #google, #managers & supervisors, #search, #wrong

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dilbert holding out banana: i'm not hungry today. do you want my banana? boss: that's an apple. dilbert: um..no this is a banana. boss: clearly it is not. dilbert: i can't believe you are making me do a google search to prove i know what a banana is. see? those are bananas. this looks just like the photos. this is a banana. those images are doctored. dilbert yelling: there are a million banana images! they are not all doctored! boss: you know how i know you are wrong? because you never admit you are wrong. gotcha! dilbert yelling: that is not a thing!!! boss: that's exactly what all the people who are wrong say.

A Feeling You Are Doing It Wrong

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A Feeling You Are Doing It Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #correct, #friends, #mistakes, #sarcasm, #technology, #watch, #wrong

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dilbert: i have a feeling you are doing something wrong, but i don't know what. do you mind if i watch over your shoulder and look for mistakes as you make them? coworker: you don't have friends, do you? dilbert: i like to travel light.

Hand Sanitizer

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Hand Sanitizer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #hand sanitizer, #addicted, #overuse, #face mask, #covid-19, #pandemic

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dilbert: i'm getting addicted to hand sanitizer. it started with my hands, but over time, i extended it up to my forearms, then behind my ears, and it just kept going. dilbert: want a squirt? alice: i don't know where that thing has been.

Talk To The Experts

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Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer, #bribe, #experts, #face mask, #faster, #managers & supervisors, #Opinion, #plan, #technology

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boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

People Enjoy Context

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People Enjoy Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #zoom, #customer, #self, #human, #sarcasm, #face mask

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boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.

No Mask For Zoom Call

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No Mask For Zoom Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #zoom, #video conferencing, #face mask, #clinical, #study, #easy, #hate, #coffee

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dilbert video conferencing: you don't need a mask for a Zoom call. employee: can you back up that claim with a randomized clinical study? dilbert: i've noticed it's a lot easier to hate people lately.

Height Advantage

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Height Advantage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #employement, #fired, #height, #hiring, #managers & supervisors, #pay cut, #short, #tall, #video conferencing, #zoom

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boss video conferencing with carl: carl, i hired you because you are tall, but now it doesn't matter because everyone looks the same height on zoom. your height advantage has disappeared, so today will be your last day with the company. carl: maybe instead you could cut my pay to the same level as short people. boss: that just might work.