Test Phase Comic Strips - Page 5

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213 Results for Test Phase

View 41 - 50 results for test phase comic strips. Discover the best "Test Phase" comics from Dilbert.com.

For The Good Of The Country

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For The Good Of The Country - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apple, #iphone, #technology, #national security, #privacy, #terrorism, #encryption

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Boss: The government wants us to make software to crack our own encryption. Dilbert: That sounds evil. Boss: It's for the good of the country. Dilbert: Can I test it on your phone? Boss: You'd have to kill me first. Dilbert: That would be two good things for the country.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #paradox, #logic

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Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.

Robots Continue To Be Flawless

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Robots Continue To Be Flawless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #technology, #ego, #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #competition, #perfection

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Robot: For the hundredth week in a row, I performed my tasks perfectly. Meanwhile, you idiots acted in ways that can only be described as random. Boss: You've had a bad attitude since you beat me on the Turing test. Robot: Ten times out of ten.

Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues

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Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #future, #death, #prediction, #health, #reaction, #medical

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Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social, #party, #invite, #relationships, #friend, #friendship, #test, #popularity

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Dilbert: I'm having some people over to my house after work. Would you like to come? Woman: Who else is coming? Dilbert: Seven people said maybe, and one said he would get back to me. I think that shows a lot of interest. So how about it? Can you come? Woman: It depends on whether my sister needs a ride to the airport. Dilbert: When will you know? Woman: I'll text you. Dogbert: Are you sad that no one came? Dilbert: No, I was just A-B testing to see if I still hate all of them.

Tell Me About Being A Foodie

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Tell Me About Being A Foodie  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #boredom, #bored, #invention, #conversation, #stimulation, #stimulating

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Dilbert: I invented a brain stimulator to keep my brain from atrophying during boring conversations. Tell me something about your hobbies so I can test it. Tina: Well, I'm a foodie. Dilbert: Do you like cheese? It's working!

Alice Sets Precedent

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Alice Sets Precedent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power, #exploitation, #frustration, #helpless, #mocking, #teasing, #cruelty

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Alice: I insulted our boss and he didn't react. The precedent has been set. I plan to test the limits of this unexpected employee benefit. What's up, idiot? Boss: Must... not... fire... good engineers.

Bossbert

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Bossbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #robot, #replicant

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Dilbert: I used a 3-D printer and a scan of your brain to create Bossbot. It doesn't pass the Turing test, but neither do you. Bossbot: What's the Turing test? Dilbert: Doesn't really matter. Boss: Yeah, what's the Turing test?

Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation

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Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #inventions, #design, #complication, #overthinking

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Wally: I asked the other engineers to help me develop my double-handed coffee mug invention. Now it is bloated with useless features and not dishwasher safe. Maybe you should cancel the project. Boss: Are you okay with that? Wally: I've never been a big fan of the implementation phase.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #expectation, #impossible, #irrational, #leadership, #motivation, #rationality

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Boss: How many days will it take to finish the tests? Dilbert: Three. Boss: You have two. Dilbert: I can't do it in two days. That's why I said three. Boss: That was before I used my leadership skills to tell you to do it in two days. Dilbert: Leadership doesn't change the laws of physics. The test takes three days. Boss: You have two. Leadership! These test results look incomplete. Dilbert: Just like my soul.