Thwart Move Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

150 Results for Thwart Move

View 41 - 50 results for thwart move comic strips. Discover the best "Thwart Move" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mother, son, help, rebate, laptop, tv, ringtone, scheme, plan, yell, phone call, Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Mom says, "Dilbert, could you help me fill out this rebate form the next time you visit?" Dilbert says, "Sure, mom." Mom says, "Also, my laptop keeps crashing." Dilbert says, "I'll take a look at it." Mom says, "My TV is acting up again too." Mom says, "And maybe you could show me how to change my ringtone." Dilbert says, "Do you really need all of that help?" Dilbert says, "Or is this an elaborate scheme to inoculate against me ever wanting to move back home?" Mom says, "We have a bad connection! What? What? What?" Mom thinks, "That should buy me another six months."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rolling forecast, worthless, sarcasm, meeting, snork, laugh, drink coffee, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I've decided to move to a rolling forecast." Dilbert says, "So, the problem is that forecasts are worthless, and your solution is to do more of them?" Dilbert says, "If my sarcasm is a problem, I can solve that by doing more of it." Wally says, "SNORK"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineer, duel, angry, fight, send link, winner, arms up, cell phone, technology, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

How Engineers Duel Dilbert says, "Your data are weak." Engineer says, "Make your move!" Dilbert says, "I'm sending you a link!" Engineer says, "I'm sending you three links!" Dilbert says, "I don't have time for this." Engineer says, "Winner!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tiger team, boring job, sarcastic, yell, mouth open, tiger costumes, moving junk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Carol, form a tiger team to move the junk from the small conference room." Carol says, "I'm glad you call it a tiger team so I don't feel sad that my job involves relocating junk." Carol says, "Could I be less happy right now?!!" The Boss says, "I ordered tiger costumes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coworker, request, people, project, generic advice, sitting at desk, tail wagging, hate, angry, replace, inspire

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Generic Manager Man says, "We need more people on the project." Dogbert says, "Figure it out. Work smarter not harder. Make a plan. Move some things around. Adjust priorities. Just get it done. Give me a status report." Man says, "That did nothing but make me hate you." Dogbert says, "I can replace you with someone who will pretend to be inspired."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quality tester, version 2, engineer, overpaid, appear, performance review, office politics, raise, arms out, plan, strategy, wave folder in face, angry, bug eyes, grit teeth, insubordination, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to help with quality testing on Version 2." Dilbert says, "I'm an engineer, not a quality tester.' Dilbert says, "If I do quality testing, even temporarily, it will make me appear grossly overpaid." Dilbert says, "That impression could work against me during my next performance review." Dilbert says, "A one percent difference in pay, compounded over the rest of my life, is big money." Dilbert says, "Obviously my best strategy here is to offer resistance that's just short of insubordination." Dilbert says, "So move on, little man! Scat! Go!" Dilbert says, "Too much?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags amorphous cloud of gas, once human, avoid commitment, molecules stop binding, subtle odor, copier room, micromanage, input

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We can't move forward until you get input from Allen." The Boss says, "And that won't be easy. Allen is an amorphous cloud of gas." The Boss says, "He once was human like us." The Boss says, "Allen was afraid to give his opinion or make a decision." The Boss says, "He put so much effort into avoiding commitment that his molecules stopped binding together." The Boss says, "Now he exists as nothing but a subtle odor near the copier room." Dilbert says, "How can I get his input?" The Boss says, "Don't make me micromanage you." Dilbert says, "Allen? Is that you?" Wally says, "Sorry."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss vacation, announcement made, cheering, employees cheer, 2 weeks

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I'm off for two relaxing weeks of well-earned vacation." Carol says, "Attention all employees. The stain is on the move. I repeat, the stain is on the move." Employees say, "YIPPEE! WOO-HOO! YES!" The Boss thinks, "Relaxing just got harder."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags poison pill, watch, ceo carcass, executives

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "You can thwart this unfriendly takeover by using something called a poison pill." CEO: I keep one in my watch. I'll take it immediately." Dogbert: That's not...I suppose I could feed your tainted CEO carcass to the executives of the other company. CEO: Gurgle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, complaints, private office, threat, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice : Loud Howard insists on using his speak-phone in his cubicle. You have to do something about it. The Boss: "I'll move him to a private office that just became available. Problem solved. Alice: I need to punch you until we both forget what happened here." Asok: Gaaa!!! Dilbert: Spare the glasses.