Tiny Wesels Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

86 Results for Tiny Wesels

View 41 - 50 results for tiny wesels comic strips. Discover the best "Tiny Wesels" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #tiny raises, #nothing to motivate, #alice complains

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Alice sits in a chair across from Catbert's desk. Alice with her arms out says, "I work hard, but all I get are tiny raises." Catbert says, "If we gave you everything you wanted, then you would have nothing to motivate you." ALice says, "I don't want to be motivated." Catbert says, "That's why I enjoy doing it!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #accept transfer, #frozen asteroid, #surplussed, #map

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob tells Alice, "If I don't accept the transfer to a frozen asteroid, I'll be superplugged." Alice says, "Ted, let me show you something on this map." Alice points and asks, "See this tiny island?" Ted answers, "Yes." Alice says, "That's where the people who care live."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 1997's comic on:


Tags #each photo, #universe, #tiny skull, #going to explode, #tarpaulin, #rat talks garbageman

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits on a garbage can and says, "So... each photon is a universe.. then mass is just a probability cluster?" THe trash man says, "That's how I see it." Ratbert holds his head in his hands like it's about to explode and says, "Wow! I think my tiny skull is so full it's going to explode." The garbage man says holds a plastic bag of trash and says, "Let me get a tarpaulin." Dogbert walks up and says, "Have you been talking to our garbage man again?" Ratbert sits on a canvas tarp and holds his head. He says, "Don't get too close."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1997's comic on:


Tags #blowing off idiots, #information, #web page, #misunderstood

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer. Dogbert walks up and says, "I have a new method for blowing off the idiots who ask questions." Dogbert waves his tiny armsi in the air and says, "I say, 'That information ison my web page. Shoo, shoo." Dilbert asks, "What happens when they find out it isn't?" Dogbert replies, "I'll say, 'You must have misunderstood your question.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #project sparkle, #desk policy, #company wide effoert, #tiny question, #curious, #top executives, #competitive threat, #panic, #lone voice of reason, #paper towles, #laminated card, #mission statement

View Transcript

Transcript

At a meeting, The Boss says, "Announcing Project 'Sparkle', the clean desk policy." The Boss says, "This is a company wide effort to keep our work spaces clean." Alice says, "Tiny question. I'm curious about one thing." Alice says, "I'm picturing our top executives in the 'War Room.'" Alice waves her arms wildly and says, "They talk about the competitive threat and our lack of resources. Suddenly, panic sets in!!" Alice is wide eyed and finishes, "A lone voice of reason penetrates the confusion. Two words: Paper towels." Alice asks, "Is that pretty much how it went?" The Boss says, "Moving along. Each of you get a laminated card with our mission statement." Wally puts his arm out to restrain Alice and says, "Let me do this one." Dilbert just watches it go by. The only reason he's here is because his name is on the strip.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1997's comic on:


Tags #invented quantum computer, #solve complex equations, #chaos theroy, #shift destiny, #possibly killing inhabitants, #shift happens

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table looking at a device. Dilbert says, "I've invented a quantum computer, capable of interacting with matter from other universes to solve complex equations." Dogbert says, "According to chaos theory, your tiny change to another universe will shift its destiny, possibly killing every inhabitant." Dilbert replies, "Shift happens." Dogbert says, "Fire it up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1996's comic on:


Tags #marketing dept., #cubicle walls, #sneak down, #experimnet, #forgets

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice asks Dilbert, "What are you doing in the marketing department?" Dilbert pulls a cubicle wall and replies, "It's an experiment." Dilbert explains, "I sneak down here once a week and move this guy's cubicle wall in by a quarter-inch." A man with a briefcase tries to squeeze into a tiny cubicle. Alice asks, "What's this experiment going to prove?" Dilbert replies, "I forget. It's been a long time."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1996's comic on:


Tags #minor edits, #product brochure, #causes hallucinations, #sterility, #positive spin, #greatest writing challenge, #same old sights, #great gift, #conscince, #three pager

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Tina the Tech Writer, "Tina, we need a few minor edits on our product brochure." Tina sits at her desk and thinks, "Minor? Uh-oh . . ." The Boss continues, "We've discovered that our product causes hallucinations and sterility." The Boss continues, "See if you can put a positive spin on that." Tina thinks, "This will be my greatest writing challenge yet." Tina types, "Are you tired of the same old sights? We've got you covered." Tina types, ". . . Makes a great gift for those people who - in your opinion - should not reproduce." Tina thinks, "Ooh . . . I feel a tiny pang of conscience. That's one." Dilbert asks, "So the brochure was only a three-panger?" Tina replies, "Yeah, and I think I faked the third one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1996's comic on:


Tags #software development work, #tiny nation, #elbonia, #integrating software, #existing systems, #tuberculosis vaccination

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Dilbert, "I heard that our software development work has been moved to the tiny nation of Elbonia." Dilbert responds, "Things can't get worse than that." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "Dilbert, you're in charge of integrating the Elbonian's software with our existing systems." Dilbert looks stunned. Dilbert says to Alice, "Okay, NOW it can't get any worse." The Boss adds, "You might want to get a tuberculosis vaccination."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 1996's comic on:


Tags #feeling of doom, #room mate, #Dilbert, #fiancee department, #budget, #square footage

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "Why do I have a feeling of impending doom?" The Boss peeks into Dilbert's cubicle. The Boss says, "Good news!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The Boss says, "You won't have to spend another lonely day in this tiny cubicle." Dilbert asks, "I'm getting an office?" The Boss replies, "Better! You're getting a roommate!" Dilbert shouts, "Why??? We've got plenty of empty cubicles! Our company owns the whole building!" The Boss says, "The finance department charges my budget for the square footage we use." Dilbert looks over the cubicle wall and says to the Boss, "It's a false savings! You're hurting the company!" The Boss walks away thinking, "All I hear is a faint buzzing." Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "Oh, well. How bad could it be?" A man wearing a cowboy hat and carrying a can of beans and a radio says, "I hope you like baked beans and square-dancing as much as I do!"