Two Warning System Comic Strips - Page 5

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822 Results for Two Warning System

View 41 - 50 results for two warning system comic strips. Discover the best "Two Warning System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elon Musk Warns The World

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 Elon Musk Warns The World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #technology, #artificial intelligence, #ai, #social media, #distraction, #thinking, #thought

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Robot: Elon Musk is warning the world that A.I. could be a threat to humankind. Dilbert: We humans won't go without a fight! Robot: Look at this viral video on social media. Dilbert: Hee hee! What were we talking about before? Robot: You were mistakenly believing you haven't already lost the war.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #lying, #deception, #secret, #choosing, #choices

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Man: Don't tell Dilbert I told you what he plans to do. Alice: What if he asks me how I found out? Man: You should lie. Alice: You have given me two bad choices. If I don't change my plans based on this new information, I'll have big problems. But if I act on it, Dilbert will ask me how I knew, and that will turn me into a liar. Man: Yes, those are your only options. Alice: Unless... Man: There's no "unless." You have only two options. Just two! Alice: Have you ever seen the view from the roof?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #morals, #blame

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Dilbert: Don't finish the software patch. We're replacing the entire system. Man: Why didn't you tell me sooner? Dilbert: I just found out. Man: While you were standing here. Dilbert: Um, no, I was standing somewhere else. Man: When? Dilbert: Twenty minutes ago. Man: Aha!!! You wasted twenty minutes of my time because you're a terrible person! Dilbert; I'm sorry. Now I feel awful. Man: You're just lucky I forgot to work on that patch.

Dogbert The Pr Specialist

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Dogbert The Pr Specialist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #public relations, #image, #likeability, #pr, #deception

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Narrator: Dogbert the public relations specialist. Dogbert: The public hates you for all the right reasons. I'll repair your public image by photographing you serving meals in a homeless shelter. CEO: Is the public really that dumb? Dogbert: Yup. I'll have you out of there in two scoops and a click.

Dilbert Is A Lover Not A Fighter

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Dilbert Is A Lover Not A Fighter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #lover, #fighter, #argument

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Dilbert: I'm a lover, not a fighter. Dogbert: When is the last time you did either one? Dilbert: Are you trying to start a fight? Dogbert: It's the better option of the two.

Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes

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Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #results, #confidentiality, #progress, #business

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Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #argument, #anger, #frustration, #trolling, #needling

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Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.

Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks

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Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rich people, #money, #stock market, #investments, #out of touch, #obliviousness, #stratification

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CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?

Product Warning Is Too Long

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Product Warning Is Too Long - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technical writer, #instructions, #caution, #warning, #safety, #criticism

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Tina: My boss, who knows nothing about technical writing, told me to cut my 700-page product warning down to 500 pages. He doesn't appreciate my art. Dilbert: Sounds like both of you are idiots. Tina: This will go smoother if you stop talking.

500 Pages Would Be Rubbish

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500 Pages Would Be Rubbish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #writing, #criticism, #technical writer, #warning, #caution, #safety

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Boss: You need to edit the product warning from seven hundred pages down to one. Tina: Oh, that's rich. I'ma professional technical writer, and you're telling me how to write? Boss: Can you cut it down to 500 pages? Tina: Sure, if you want it to be total rubbish.