Used Car Comic Strips - Page 5

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342 Results for Used Car

View 41 - 50 results for used car comic strips. Discover the best "Used Car" comics from Dilbert.com.

Commemorating Ted

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Commemorating Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #ravine, #meanness, #insult, #idiot, #guest artist, #brenna thummler

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Carol: We're having a get-together to commemorate Ted, who drove his car into a ravine because you said he should. Dilbert: He wasn't good at handling criticism. Carol: You could have been more constructive. Dilbert: By building a bridge over the ravine?

Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver

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Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #vomit, #sick, #taxi, #driver, #carpet, #smell, #nausea, #throwing up, #medical

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Dilbert: When you were an Uber driver, did any passengers ever get sick in your car? Asok: They all did. The first few had motion sickness, but the last hundred lost it when they smelled the carpet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #complaining, #problems, #salutation, #sincerity, #insincere, #questioning, #business

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Dilbert: Thanks for meeting me on short notice. How are you? Coworker: Well, actually, someone stole my identity and ruined my credit score. I couldn't refinance my loan and lost my house. So I ate myself into poor health. I stopped shaving for a month and ended up on the terrorist watchlist. My boss hates me and is trying to make me quit by giving me bad assignments. My car broke down and I haven't been hugged in a year. Dilbert: Okay, let's get started. Coworker: That's all the time I had.

The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained

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The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #gender, #Women, #technology, #equality, #gross, #repulsion

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Robot: Researchers discovered why women are under-represented in stem careers. It's this guy. Wally: I used to cut my toenails every week, now I just wear bigger shoes. Woman: I quit.

I Used To Have A Nemesis

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I Used To Have A Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #nemesis, #enemy, #logic, #self esteem, #anger, #hate

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Man: I used to have a nemesis. Bit I cut out the middle person and learned to hate myself. Dilbert: That's dumb. Man: I told you I don't need you!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #watch, #technology, #signal, #symbol, #time, #punctual, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #outdated, #change

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Alice: I used to enjoy pointing to my watch and mocking people for being late. But it isn't as fun as it used to be. Dilbert: Is your step count low again?

Going Double Digital

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Going Double Digital - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #attention, #distraction, #technology, #watch, #relationships, #dating, #smart phone, #smart watch

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Tina: I broke up with my boyfriend because we went double-digital. I got used to sharing time with his phone, bu the hasn't made eye contact since he unboxed his Apple watch. Dilbert: Ooh. Weather. Tina: Did you hear anything I just said?

Bossbert

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Bossbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #robot, #replicant

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Dilbert: I used a 3-D printer and a scan of your brain to create Bossbot. It doesn't pass the Turing test, but neither do you. Bossbot: What's the Turing test? Dilbert: Doesn't really matter. Boss: Yeah, what's the Turing test?

Deserve Is For Losers

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Deserve Is For Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deserve, #loser, #sympathy, #Advice

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Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserved. Alice: Deserve is a loser word used by losers when they lose. Tina: Whose side are you on? Alice: The winning side. Was that unclear?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #executives, #ceos, #raise, #asking for a raise, #compensation, #money, #wages, #comparison, #wage discrepancy, #mansion

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Boss: I can only give you a 3% raise. If you want more, take it up with our CEO. Dilbert: I'd like to explain why I deserve more than a 3% raise. As a negotiating strategy, Dogbert will simultaneously read a media report about your lavish $85 million mansion. I invented three new technologies this year. Dogbert: "The toilets are solid gold." Dilbert: I wrote most of the code for our new product. Dogbert: "The helicopter pad is on the roof of the car museum." Dilbert: I worked eighty hours per week. Dogbert: "Every elevator has a full kitchen." Dilbert: I could earn more at Google or Apple... Dogbert: "Entire house rotates for optimal sun exposure." Dilbert: Do you see where I'm going with this? CEO: High-five?