Wrong Button Comic Strips - Page 5
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Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!
Wally: I recently realized how much I enjoy listening to myself talk. The alternative involves listening to people who are boring and wrong about everything. Dilbert: That's not... Wally: Shhh! Don't ruin a perfect moment.
Boss: Everyone says you hate the new product test plan. Dilbert: No, I like it. Boss: Pffft. I don't think all of those people can be wrong about what you think. Dilbert: I'm kind of an expert on what I think. Boss: I guess it's just your word against everyone.
Wally: Are you still considering a reorganization of the department? Boss: Maybe. Wally: Oh, good. I was worried I might be held accountable for my lack of accomplishments. Boss: I might be playing this wrong. Wally: Hey, everyone! We're free!
Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.
Man: You said you hated this idea last week, but now you say you like it. How do you explain your flip-flopping? Dilbert: I always liked the idea. Nothing changed. Man: Hahaha! Nice try! You're back-pedaling because I busted you. Dilbert: Here is my email trail from the first moment the idea came up. As you can plainly see, I have liked the idea from the start. Any questions? Boss: Why is it so hard for you to admit you were wrong?
Dilbert: I emailed you proof that you were wrong when you accused me of deleting Alice's project files. Boss: Now I hate you for always needing to be right. Dilbert: I don't see a path to success here. Boss: Your negativity is like a cancer in the workplace.
The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.
Tina: People keep telling me you refuse to admit when you are wrong. Dilbert: It only looks that way because Im right most off the time and people are too dumb to know it. Tina: wow! They're right about you being a narcissist, too. Dilbert: I refuse to admit I'm wrong about this.