Accurate Numbers Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

93 Results for Accurate Numbers

View 41 - 50 results for Accurate Numbers comic strips. Discover the best "Accurate Numbers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Engineer Touches Spreadsheet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Engineer Touches Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #numbers, #budget, #obliviousness, #approval, #disease, #contagious, #managers, #executives, #accuracy, #fantasy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I approve this project based on your boss' spreadsheet calculations. His calculations must be accurate because an engineer handed them to me. Is that all you need? Dilbert: I need a hug, but I don't want to catch whatever caused all of this.

Random Number Generator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Random Number Generator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projection, #money, #prediction, #unrealistic expectations, #numbers, #obliviousness, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you get me more details on the financial projections? Dilbert: Sure. I wrote an app that generates random numbers, just in case you asked for them. Boss: 17, 4, 962... Yes, this looks about right.

Directionally Accurate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Directionally Accurate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projections, #budget, #finance, #math, #excuse, #compliment, #accuracy, #education, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?

More Accurate Job Description

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
More Accurate Job Description - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #frustration, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.

Employee Engagement Survey

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Engagement Survey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #underpay, #senior, #management, #accurate, #information, #engagement, #survey, #important, #underpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: all out the employee engagement survey and make sure you lie like crazy. i don't want any accurate information to bubble up to senior management. dilbert: i've never felt less important. boss: good. that's why i can underpay you.

Noble Bad Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Noble Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accurate, #bad, #business, #data, #heroic, #managers & supervisors, #noble, #war

View Transcript

Transcript

boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.

Sciencesplainer Explains Science New

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sciencesplainer Explains Science   New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sciencesplainer, #data, #report, #anecdotal, #controlled, #study, #accurate, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?

Asok Analysis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Asok Analysis  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #numbers, #analysis, #experience, #liars, #department

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: put some numbers on this decision so it looks a if we thought about it longer. asok: are you seriously telling me to do the analysis after the decision? boss: if you need help, talk to one of the experienced liars in the department.

Pick Midpoint

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pick Midpoint - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #projections, #accurate, #random, #guess, #midpoint, #decision

View Transcript

Transcript

bos: which of your two projections do you think is more accurate? dilbert: they are both random guesses. i made two of them to create an illusion of a credible range. boss: so...would it be reasonable to pick the midpoint? dilbert: it's as reasonable as your other decisions.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #questioning, #draw attention, #opposite apporach, #working

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And so, as you can see... Man: All of the numbers I gave you last week are wrong. I would have mentioned it sooner, but I don't like to draw attention to myself. I see that you're taking the opposite approach. How's that working for you?