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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #military secrets, #north elconia, #signed agreements

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Dilbert sits down with a couple of Elbonians. The first one says, "Don't worry that we'll take any military technology secrets back to North Elbonia." The second guy says, "We signed these little agreements that say we won't." He waves a non-disclosure contract in Dilbert face. Dilbert frowns. The Elbonians laugh and give each other a high-five. Dilbert says, "Moving on..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #military technology, #huge laser, #create user manual, #sing helen reddy song

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Dilbert says, ",,,The North Elbonians stole our military technology. We think they're building a huge laser to use against us." Dogbert says, "Ask Tina the Tech Writer to create a user manual for them. Remind Tina how the North Elbonians treat women." Caption: Later in North Elbonia. The Elbonians line up in front of the barrel of a large laser gun. The guy in front reads "Okay... the timer is set... we're lined up in single file.. now we sing a Helen Reddy song."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #deep mud, #misogyny, #mud weasels, #kick people, #complimenting, #screaming

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Alice says to Dilbert and Wally, "I'm off to Elbonia, the land of waist-deep mud and misogyny." Wally leans back in his chair and says, "On the plus side, you can kick people and blame it on the mud weasels." Alice stands in the mud with a couple of Elbonians. One says, "What's wrong, Yugi? One second you are comlimenting this chick, next second screaming." Alice says, "Mud weasel." Yugi is doubled over in pain.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1998's comic on:


Tags #albanian factory tour, #sweat shop, #companys prodcut, #attach clamps, #cubicles, #damaged morale

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Elbonian Factory Tour: Alice and an Elbonian stand in the mud in front of a hut. The Elbonian says, "This is the sweat shop where we make your company's product." Alice takes notes. The Elbonians work with large clamps on their heads. The foreman says, "We attache huge clamps to each employee's head." Alice says, "Why?" The foreman says, "We tried cubicles, but it damaged morale."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1998's comic on:


Tags #teach elbonians, #cobol, #reschedule, #send wally, #dilbert doesn't know cobol

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Dilbert stands with The Boss. Dilbert's arms are raised in anger. Dilbert says, "Why are sending ME to teach cobol to the Elbonians? Wally is the one who knows cobol, not me." The Boss says, "Wally said he's busy that day." Dilbert says, "Can't you reschedule the class." The Boss says, "Okay... does tomorrow work for you?" Dilbert raises his clenched fists. Dilbert says, "YOU"RE SOLVING THE WRONG PROBLEM!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1998's comic on:


Tags #don't know cobol, #elbonia, #imaginary keyboard, #no computers, #teach cobol

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Caption: Somewhere in Elbonia. Dilbert stands waist high in snow holding his briefcase. Two Elbonians in big hats and long beards stand across from him. Dilbert says, "I've been sent to teach you cobol." Elbonian man says, "We don't have any computers." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I don't know cobol." Dilbert and the two Elbonians pretend to type on imaginary keyboards. Dilbert says, "...And if you had a keyboard, you would od this." Elbonian says, "Oops.. how do I delete?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #teaches cobol, #elbonia, #y2k, #year 2000 problem, #four day class, #cabbge, #class dismissed

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Caption: Dilbert teaches Cobol in Elbonia. Dilbert stands in waist high snow in fron of two Elbonians. Dilbert says, "...And that's how you fix your "Year 2000" problem." Dilbert says, "This concludes my four-day class. Are there any questions." Elbonian man 1 says, "What's a year?" Elbonian man 2 says, "And is cobol a kind of cabbage or what?" Dilbert says, "Class dismissed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2001's comic on:


Tags #outsourced sales, #elbonian company, #complex technology, #bad string, #call back, #mud pile

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We outsourced our sales and fulfillment functions to an Elbonian company." Wally looks at Dilbert as Dilbert asks, "Um... Are you sure that's the best way to sell complex technology?" Three Elbonians and a pig each are holding a tin can with string to their ears. One Elbonian says, "Could you call back? We have a bad string."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #elboninan fullfillment, #service, #thwart, #300 times, #string phones, #mud pile, #pig, #laughing, #animals

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Two Elbonians each have a tin can with string held up to their ears. One Elbonian says, "This is the Elbonian Fulfillment Service. How may I thwart you?" The Elbonians continue listening to their tin cans. One Elbonian hears, "Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt." The Elbonian holds his tin can away from his ear and says to the pig, "Okay, it wasn't funny the first 300 times either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2001's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #mud delivery business, #general economic slowdown, #dot com meltdown, #sell mud, #live in mud, #call fudge

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Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert is wading through water towards Elbonians. Dilbert says, "Can anyone tell me why your mud delivery business is failing? Anyone?" One Elbonian raises his hand and says, "Is it because of the general economic slow down?" Another adds, "Dot-com meltdown?" Dilbert says, "And maybe because you sell mud to people who live in mud?" An Elbonian replies, "What if we call it fudge?"