Across Dsiciplines Comic Strips - Page 5
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176 Results for Across Dsiciplines
View 41 - 50 results for across dsiciplines comic strips. Discover the best "Across Dsiciplines" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 29,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #afraid, #the boss, #decade, #natural, #body, #rhythms, #employees, #reach, #mental, #low, #best, #avoid, #activity
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm afraid your company is being hit by an El Nino Circadian trough." Dogbert continues, "Once a decade, the natural body rhythms of all the employees reach their mental low point at the same time." Dogbert continues, "It's best to avoid any form of mental activity." The Boss yells, "Staff meeting!"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday November 02,
1992
Tags #failed, #driving, #test, #nine, #Dogbert, #school, #specialize, #problem, #application, #form, #special, #pointy
Transcript
A customer sits across from Dogbert's desk. The boy says, "I've failed the driving test nine times. Can you help?" Dogbert replies, "I specialize in the problem cases. Just sign the application form." The boy looks at the pencil and says, "Wait . . . I've seen one of these before. Yes, there's something special about the pointy end . . . But what?" Dogbert thinks, "Uh oh."
Tuesday December 08,
1992
Tags #humor, #Dilbert, #the boss, #tension, #engineers, #lightbulb, #appraisal
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I'm going to use humor to ease the tension during your annual job performance appraisal." The Boss asks, "How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Dilbert says, "I don't know." The Boss says, "Well, that's consistent with your appraisal." Dilbert says, "Wait . . . I'll say three."
Thursday December 17,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #competitor, #massage, #helga, #company, #offer, #house
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from a customer's desk wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. The customer says, "Your competitor was here an hour ago . . ." The man points to a woman holding a towel and massage oil and says, "He promised me a massage from Helga if I buy from his company. What's your offer?" Dilbert replies, "I'll give you my house for Helga." The man says, "You're new at this . . ."
Monday February 08,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #consultant, #right-brain, #potential, #employees, #creative, #answers, #left-brain, #quantitative, #analysis, #stem, #meetings
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk and says, "As your consultant I'll be able to unleash right-brain potential in your employees." Dogbert continues, "They'll learn to find creative answers, not just rely on left-brain quantitative analysis." The Boss asks, "Which part of the brain do we use for meetings?" Dogbert replies, "That would be the stem."
Friday February 12,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #creativity, #consultant, #final, #report, #company, #doomed
Transcript
Dogbert stands across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert hands the Boss a report and says, "Here's my final report on your company." Dogbert continues, "I've concluded that you're doomed. You waste too much money on consultants." The Boss replies, "You're a consultant." Dogbert asks, "Ironic, isn't it?"
Monday March 22,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #engineering, #knowledge, #promote, #prima donna, #demonstrate, #personality, #dissorders, #mumble, #disdain, #humanity
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your engineering knowledge is good, but I can't promote you to 'prima donna.'" The Boss continues, ". . . Unless you demonstrate a few more serious personality disorders." Dilbert replies, "I can mumble." The Boss says, "Sure, but can you do it with disdain for all of humanity?"
Friday April 23,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #options, #engineer, #retire, #major, #catastrophe, #consultants, #project, #teams, #real, #crush, #marketing, #donuts
Transcript
Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea from marketing!" Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes you get free donuts just for showing up!" The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom."
Saturday May 22,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #report, #sentence, #micro-robotics, #dead-end, #technology, #opposite, #confusing, #senseless, #scenario, #win-win
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Good report . . . But add a sentence that says micro-robotics is a dead-end technology." Dilbert replies, "But that's the exact opposite of my point! If I add that, the whole report would be a confusing and senseless waste of time!" The Boss says, "That's okay. We just won't let anybody else see it." Dilbert asks, "Is this a win-win scenario?"
Thursday June 10,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #collective, #nerd, #demand, #discounts, #wireless, #e-mail, #products, #daughter, #phone, #Number
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from a man's desk and says, "I am Dogbert, leader of Venod - a huge collective of nerds. We demand twenty percent discounts on all of your products." Dogbert continues, "If you refuse, I will send a wireless e-mail message that instructs one million nerds to stop buying your products." The executive asks, "You're kidding, right?" Dogbert says, "There - I just sent them your daughter's phone number."