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A man in a lab coat hands Ratbert something that looks like a pill and says, "Just take one, Ratbert." Ratbert rolls back and forth on the lab bench and yells, "Aaargh!! I'm changing! I'm changing!" The scientist says, "It wasn't funny the first hundred times I gave you a Tic-Tac either." Ratbert says, "Let's try it again!"
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, you're being temporarily transferred to the field sales organization." The Boss continues, "Normally we use these assignments to round somebody out for management. But in this case I'm just yanking your chain!" Dilbert says, "You're over-communicating again, sir." The Boss continues, "Plus, I hate the manager of sales."
Peter says to Dilbert and a woman, "Yesterday I was a computer programmer and today I'm your new supervisor." Peter tugs at his pants and says, "The hardest part is mastering these dang management clothes. Did you know they don't come with an instruction manual?" Peter's pants fall to his ankles and he says, "I'll have to call their '800' help line again."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters the room. Dogbert shouts, "You fool! You are nothing compared to me! Ha ha ha ha ha!!" Dilbert asks, "Have you been speed-reading my self-help books again?" Dogbert replies, "The idiots should put warning labels on those things."
Dilbert sits at a conference table with Stan and a customer. Stan says, "And our product has a thirty terabit RAM cache, just like your company needs. Tell him, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "It has no RAM." Stan continues, "And it's capable of detecting tachion field emissions." Dilbert says, "You're confusing use with 'Star Trek' again, Stan." Stan continues, "We'll build that stuff into the next free upgrade." The customer replies, "We'll take it!" Dilbert thinks, "Beam me up, Spock. There's no life on this planet."
A woman points at Dilbert's wrinkled clothes and asks him, "What happened to your clothes?" Dilbert answers, "I had them rolled up and stuffed in a 'Pringles' potato chip can for a week." Dilbert explains, "It's a prototype for my tubular luggage invention." The woman says, "Never speak to me again."
The Boss: Susan, Im reorganizing the department again. The budget you worked on for months its now worthless. Susan: I think when you have bad news you should make an effort to break it gradually, maybe build yup to it. The Boss: Oh, that reminds me: You're fired.
"Value priced lottery tickets" Ratbert: "I am drawn by the allure of fabulous wealth and a life of hedonistic delight...one please." "This is dated yesterday." Dogbert: "Ooh, bad luck. Try again?"
The staff meeting at Dilbert's house ends Wally: I guess we're done abusing your tasteless hovel. Ted: It was somewhat dim witted of you to invite us to your house . Lets do it again real soon. Dogbert: I wondered if Id ever get to use my "cops are wusses" bumper stickers.
Employee: So now I have carpal tunnel syndrome... The Boss: ZZZZ Employee: you don't care about the health of your employees! All you care about is money!! The Boss: money? Employee: I need surgery! Im in constant again!! The boss: False alarm. zzz