All In Favor Comic Strips - Page 5

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49 Results for All In Favor

View 41 - 49 results for all in favor comic strips. Discover the best "All In Favor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #boss requested, #3 weeks, #organized, #wasting time, #meeting about, #brew coffeee, #exaggerating accomplishments, #business

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The Boss interrupts a meeting and says, "Dilbert, can you come with me to a meeting?" Dilbert responds, "Actually, no. I'm running this meeting and it took three weeks to get everyone together." Dilbert says, "If I leave now, sixteen people will be wasting their time." Wally says, "I'll cover for you." Dilbert says to Wally, "You will?" Wally replies, "Sure. Just leave your notes and I'll take care of it." Dilbert follows The Boss and says, "What's the meeting about?" The Boss responds, "It's not exactly a meeting." The Boss, "I need someone to drink the crud on the bottom and then brew a fresh pot." Back at the meeting, Wally calls a vote, "All in favor of leaving before he gets back." Everyone raises their hands. Dilbert returns to an empty meeting. He thinks, "It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #full service broker, #stick broker, #brokers know stocks, #earn trust, #direct approach, #garbage, #biggest commission

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Dilbert walks into the office of a Full Service Broker. The Broker introduces himself to Dilbert, "I'm Bob Weaselton, your full-service stockbroker." Bob continues, "There are two ways we can go here." Bob continues, "Option one: I act as if brokers know which stocks are better than others." Bob continues, "Then I'll earn your trust by comparing your portfolio to misleading benchmarks." Bob continues, "But I prefer a more direct approach." Bob continues, "Option two: I sell you whatever garbage earns me the biggest commission." Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Would you do me a favor and lie to me?" Dogbert responds, "Nice haircut."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #incompetent vp, #fired, #fvaor, #laugh, #resignation, #announcement, #terse, #incompetence, #ambiguaous, #meaning

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Catbert says to Fred, "Fred, you're an incompetent VP. You're fired." Fred asks, "May I ask for one favor?" Catbert says, "Sure. I could use a laugh." Fred says, "Please don't make my resignation announcement terse." Fred continues, "If it's terse, everyone will know I was fired for incompetence." Catbert smiles an ugly smile and Fred asks, "Does that smile mean you'll do what I ask?" Catbert says, "I'm sorry if that was ambiguous. Let me try again." Catbert smiles an even bigger ugly smile and Fred says, "I'm still not getting your meaning." Dilbert sits at his computer and reads a memo which says, "Re: Fred. Career dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #obstinacy, #public speaking, #thinking, #vet ideas, #peers, #hate ideas

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Dilbert: I've been asked to vet my idea with my peers. To save time, I am willing to stipulate that you hate all ideas that are not your own. All in favor? Alice: I hate this idea, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2014's comic on:


Tags #joking, #laughter, #medicine, #neck pain, #sleep, #sound wise, #slept wrong, #employee, #employer, #health

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Boss: My neck is killing me. I must have slept wrong. Dilbert: Ha ha ha! You can't even sleep right! I'm doing you a favor because laughter is the best medicine. Hee hee! Boss: Why does that no longer sound wise?!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #friendship, #closeness, #favor, #benefit, #debate, #relationships

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Tina: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Saturday? Dilbert: My attorney will answer that question. Dogbert: The evidence will show that you are not the kind of friend who qualifies for airport rides. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are what is called a "work friend." A background check with your family and acquaintances will show that you are unlikely to ever reciprocate. In short, there is no social or monetary reason for Dilbert to agree to your unreasonable request. Tina: Maybe he just wants to be nice. Dogbert: The evidence would suggest otherwise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #team, #teamwork, #team building, #death, #cover-up, #denial, #human resources, #drowning, #rafting, #business, #medical

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Boss: As you know, our team-building event did not go smoothly. In my defense, I had no way of knowing a class 6 whitewater adventure would be so bumpy. It took me by surprise when Ted fell in. But I'm proud that we came together as a team and agreed to not look for him. It would have ruined our timing for lunch. Anyway, I'm sure Ted swam to safety. Dilbert: Ted doesn't know how to swim. Boss: All in favor of pretending Ted didn't attend the event? Catbert: They didn't have life vests? Boss: You're thinking of the deluxe package.

Health Problems

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Health Problems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #age, #complaining, #health, #office, #office workers

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Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Tina Likes To Hum

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Tina Likes To Hum - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #annoy, #business, #humming

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dilbert: would you please stop humming? it's making me crazy. Tina: i can't focus unless i hum. dilbert: but i can't focus when you do hum. i'm going to talk to your boss. tina: i'm going to talk to your boss! hum, hum, hum. dilbert: gaaa!!! i can't work when she hums. tina: humming helps me work better. boss: i rule in favor of the hummer and i sentence dilbert to take sensitivity training class to be less of a jerk. dilbert: i hate you. tina: hum, hum, hum.