Attention Span Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

79 Results for Attention Span

View 41 - 50 results for attention span comic strips. Discover the best "Attention Span" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #editable wax fruit, #live at desk, #no social life, #social activity, #vending machine food, #marketing network

View Transcript

Transcript

During a staff meeting, The Boss says, "It has come to my attention that one of you has a social life." Wally says, "There must be some mistake." The Boss says, "We can't be successful until our social lives are worse than the industry average." He stands up and says, "Our competitors spend the nights in their cubicles. They eat from vending machines." The Boss walks behind Wally, Dilbert and Alice. He says, "Someone here has not shown the same level of competetive spirit." The Boss grabs Asok by the collar and says, "Someone had a social activity last night!" Asok cries, "I'm sorry! I thought they were friends... but they were only recruiting for a multi-level marketing network!!!" Dilbert says, "What were they selling?" Asok says, "Edible wax fruit. Brochure?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new ceo, #turnaround expert, #pleasure to meet, #business process, #value based, #management method

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, the boss, Wally, Asok and a new guy with big sharp teeth and horns on his head are in a meeting. The new guy looks like the devil. The boss directs evryone's attention to him and says, "This our new CEO. He has a reputation as a turnaround expert." Asok says, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you favor TQM or more of a business process approach?" The new guy replies, "I'm partial to the value-based management method." Asok says, "I'm not familiar with that one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mud delivery business, #highly trained engineer, #business model, #deliver mud, #people live in mud

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is packing his suitcase. He says to Dogbert, "I'm supposed to shut down our Elbonian mud delivery business." Dilbert continues, "But I'm a highly trained engineer so I will analyze their business model and fix it." Dogbert replies, "They deliver mud to people who live in mud." Dilbert says, "You have my attention."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #35th of month, #earned dogbert miles, #live in terminal, #permafrost, #primitive society, #south pole, #dogbert airlines

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dogbert Airlines. Dogbert announces into a microphone, "Attention travelers! Our hub at the South Pole is experiencing permafrost." The customers look alarmed as they listen to the loud speaker. Dogbert's voice continues, "Please form a primitive society and live in the terminal forever." Dogbert continues into the microphone, "The good news is that you'll earn six 'Dogbert Miles' that can be used on the 35th of every month."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fooglepoopillion, #embarrased, #tell the truth, #best policy, #honesty, #what you say

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at home. He says to Dogbert, "My company lost a frooglepoopillion dollars. I'm embarrassed to tell people where I work." Dogbert responds, "Never be afraid to tell the truth about yourself." Dilbert asks, "Because honesty is the best policy?" Dogbert replies, "Because no one pays any attention to what you say."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Smokin' Jim "I've got a nicotine addiction, a tiny bladder, and attention deficit disorder." "So talk fast because I can't focus for more than ten seconds." "Gaa! I have to give that warning faster!!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Thanks to coffee, I can levitate objects with my mind." "Bring...the mouse...Bring the...mouse." "It's not perfect yet." "No problem. I appreciate the attention."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board of directors, #underling, #powerpoint, #slides, #preoccupied, #day jobs, #mistresses, #bonus, #meeting, #ceo, #all in favor, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEP presents to the board of directors CEO: An underling made these powerpoint slides and I don't understand them. But it doesn't matter because all of you are too preoccupied with your day jobs and mistresses to pay attention. Who votes to give me a huge bonus just to end this meeting?" Aye Aye Aye

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss vacation, #announcement made, #cheering, #employees cheer, #2 weeks

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I'm off for two relaxing weeks of well-earned vacation." Carol says, "Attention all employees. The stain is on the move. I repeat, the stain is on the move." Employees say, "YIPPEE! WOO-HOO! YES!" The Boss thinks, "Relaxing just got harder."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #moral compass damaged, #vice president, #miserable and helpless, #actual job

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "It has come to my attention that your moral compass is damaged." The man says, "I'm promoting you to vice president of making employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "That's an actual job?" The man says, "It doesn't happen on its own."