Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 5
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 41 - 50 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 08,
2018
Carol Can't Get The Printer To Work
Tags carol, Dilbert, printer, work, priorities, yammering
Transcript
Carol: I can't get the printer to work can you help? Dilbert: Sure, I'll be there as soon as I finish my twenty-seven tasks that are all higher priorities. Carol: How long will that take? Dilbert: I got three new tasks while you were here yammering.
Thursday October 18,
2018
You Have To Work Hard To Succeed
Tags Dilbert, the boss, Wally, work, hard, single, day, years, succeed, topic
Transcript
The Boss: If you want to succeed, you have to work hard every single day for years. Dilbert: That sounds awful. You just talked me out of wanting to succeed. Did you work that hard to get where you are? The Boss: Next topic!
Monday July 22,
2019
Half Are Doing All The Work
Tags business, employees, employment, fire, work
Transcript
boss: according to experts, about half of all employees are typically doing 100% of the work. i plan to beat the system by firing half of you. dilbert: wouldn't you need to keep firing half of whoever was left until you were down to one employee? boss: yes, but imagine how hard he will work.
Friday October 25,
2019
Work Life Balance
Tags business, interviewee, interview, employer, company, healthy, work, life, balance, victim
Transcript
boss: tell me what you are looking for in an employer interviewee in suit: i want a company that appreciates a healthy work-life balance. boss: you have a bit of a victim vibe interviewee: i was hoping that didn't show
Wednesday December 18,
2019
Can't Work From Home
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, power, work from home
Transcript
dilbert: can i work from home? boss: no, because then i won't have the enjoyable sensation of wielding power over you. dilbert: everything about that sounds wrong. boss: off you go.
Saturday June 13,
2020
Emergency Project
Tags boring, boss, emergency, excuses, office workers, technology, work
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you have any emergencies for me to work on? Boss: I do. Dilbert: Perfect! I needed an excuse to avoid working on the boring parts of my job. Boss: I also need your status report by end of day. Dilbert: I would totally do that if not for this darned emergency.
Thursday February 25,
2021
Worst Place To Work
Tags barrel, best, business, dead, employees, employment, place, publication, squirrels, technology, trade, work, sarcasm
Transcript
boss in board room: a trade publication ranked us dead last on their list of "best places to work." the review says, "employees say working there is like eating a barrel of dead squirrels." boss: could have been worse. dilbert: only for the squirrels.
Saturday May 08,
2021
Work From Home Or Office
Tags business, technology, video call, office, work from home, home, quit, shoot, dead, mistake, happiness
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: how many of you would prefer going back to work in the office instead of working at home? voices from laptop: i'd rather be dead. i quit. shoot me. boss walking in living room thinking: i knew it was a mistake to let them taste happiness.
Thursday May 13,
2021
Marriage Takes Work
Tags business, communication, marriage, talk, bigot, job, gay, homosexual, work
Transcript
dilbert: before we get married, we need to talk about a few things. first, i'm only marrying you to prove i'm not a bigot and to save my job. second, neither of us is gay. elbonian man: they say marriage takes work.
Friday May 14,
2021
Bigot In Your Mind
Tags business, managers & supervisors, boss, marriage, avoid, bigot, mind, self-deception, real world, Win, hire
Transcript
boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?

