Background Check Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

166 Results for Background Check

View 41 - 50 results for background check comic strips. Discover the best "Background Check" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #dance, #paycheck, #mine, #twice, #big, #money, #buy, #happiness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss dangles a check from his fingers and says, "It's pay day." The Boss yells, "Ha ha!! Dance for your paycheck!! Ha ha ha!! Mine is twice as big!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "And they say money can't buy happiness."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #secret, #ratbert, #dog, #rat, #elf, #gang, #disguise, #infiltrate, #hand shake, #heckuva, #guess

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I want you to wear a disguise and infiltrate the elf gang that has been bothering us." Ratbert replies, "Check." An elf says to Ratbert who is wearing an elf hat and clothing, "We haven't seen you before . . . " Another elf asks, "What's the secret handshake?" Ratbert bends over and waves his arms. The elf says, "No, but that's one heckuva good guess."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #transferred, #market, #work, #barbecue, #tuesday, #lunch, #unicorn

View Transcript

Transcript

A man holding a drink and wearing a robe and a wreath of leaves on his head says to Dilbert, "You look lost." Music plays in the background. Dilbert says, "I never knew that marketing was like this . . . Do you people do any work?" The man replies, "Well, not on 'Barbecue Tuesday.' Are you staying for lunch? It's unicorn!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bank, #ethel, #credit, #banks, #interest rate, #filming, #television, #ads, #Dogbert, #attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a customer service desk at a bank. Dilbert says, "I'd like to apply for a 'Bank of Ethel' credit card." The woman behind the desk says, "Sit down and shut up." The woman says, "It's 21% interest plus surprisingly high annual fees. We'll do a credit check and a full body cavity search." Back at home, Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert wearing just his boxers. Dilbert says, ". . . And I had to smile the whole time because they were filming it for their television ads." Dogbert says, "You have to admire their attitude."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #stock market, #miserable, #fortune, #law of found money, #chance, #Win, #intuition, #guide, #color, #monitor, #gray 9

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I've been miserable since I made my fortune in the stock market . . ." The garbage man replies, "It's the 'Law of Found Money.' Nature won't allow us to keep money we find on the ground or win by chance. Don't resist; let your intuition guide you." Dilbert stands in a computer retail store writing a check. He asks the salesclerk, "This comes with a color monitor, right?" The salesperson stands in front of a supercomputer labeled, "Gray 9. Only $10,000,000."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #violence, #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #ted, #program, #humor, #kick me, #relaxed, #creative, #advantage, #situation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands a sign to Dilbert, Alice and Ted. The Boss says, "As part of my program to use more humor at work, I'm asking each of you to wear a 'kick me' sign." The Boss tapes a sign to Dilbert's back and says, "I'll check later to see if you're more relaxed and creative." Later, the Boss says to Alice, "You seem to be taking unfair advantage of the situation, Alice." Dilbert and two male co-workers stand covering their groins and looking like they are in pain.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #the boss, #Wally, #rewriting, #wiseguy, #shocks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home wearing a headband with an antenna on it. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "The Boss is making us wear these things on our heads so he can give us painful shocks whenever he wants." Dilbert says, "I'm rewriting mine so it redirects the signal to Wally." Dogbert says, "I'm sure he'll see the humor in that." The Boss presses a button on his belt and says to Dilbert, "Okay, wiseguy, do you want more of this?!" Dilbert replies, "Maybe one more." In the background, Wally receives several electric shocks.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #promote, #technical, #primadonna, #disdain, #dummy, #inflatable, #question, #personal, #buddy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a desk chair and Dogbert stands on the desk. Dogbert says, "Your boss won't promote you to 'Technical Prima Donna' until you learn disdain for others." Dogbert says, "Pretend this inflatable dummy is a co-worker asking a question. See how long you can ignore it. I'll check back later." Dilbert whispers to the dummy, "Psst. Nothing personal, buddy. This is just practice." Dogbert yells, "Hey! Hey!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elvis, #art

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to an overhead projector. Dilbert puts a transparency on the projector and says, "Please excuse the artwork in this next diagram." Various people in the background say, "What's that? It looks like Elvis's face on a credenza! Ha ha ha! Or is it a Rorschach test??! Ha ha ha!" Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, I hate you all."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert asks Dogbert, ". . . So I thought you might use some of your newly won millions to fund my 'Bioworld' science experiment." Dilbert shows Dogbert an illustration and explains, "It's a complete ecology enclosed in an airtight dome. The survival of the volunteers would depend on my foresight and engineering skills." Dilbert says, "Gee, I thought it would be harder to talk you into it." Dogbert says as he writes a check, "I get to pick the volunteers myself."