Bad For Company Comic Strips - Page 5

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1000 Results for Bad For Company

View 41 - 50 results for bad for company comic strips. Discover the best "Bad For Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #bad time, #governments unemployment stats, #look for job, #managers & supervisors, #new job, #employment, #business

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The Boss says, "The government's new unemployment statistics are out." The Boss says, "It's still a bad time to look for a job." Dilbert says, "Yeah. I got that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #proactive, #send email, #bad time management, #creating illuson, #sarcasm, #crazy boss, #business

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The Boss says, "You need to be more proactive." Dilbert says, "I can only appear to be proactive if you stop telling me to do things I've already planned." The Boss says, "How am I supposed to know what you plan to do every minute?" Dilbert says, "I could send you an e-mail every time I have a thought." The Boss says, "I don't have time for that!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your bad time management is creating the illusion that I'm not proactive." Dilbert says, "I'll take the liberty of signing you up for a time management class." The Boss says, "Don't do that!" Dilbert says, "So...I should not be proactive?" The Boss says, "Just do what I want before I know I want it." Dilbert says, "I hope the next thing you want is sarcasm."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #gloating, #bad winner, #office, #co workers

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Coworker: do you remember six months ago when I told you you were wrong? EEE-YORE! EEE-YORE! EEE-YORE! I just realized Im a bad winner.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #engineers, #telomeres, #value work, #company gym, #slacker trap

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Boss: We're looking for engineers with short telomeres for their age. That's an indication that you value work above exercise. Man: But you have a company gym. Boss: That's our slacker trap!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #using company gym, #60 hrs week, #paying for itself

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Boss: Ted, I can't give you a raise because you've been using the company gym during work hours. Ted: I work sixty hours a week! Why did we build a new gym if I'm not supped to use it?? Boss: You were right. That gym is totally paying for itself.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #public realtions firm, #persuade media, #negative stores, #competitor, #ethical, #public relations form, #defaming company, #defame

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Boss: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm. His job is to persuade the media to write negative stories about our competitor. Dilbert: Is that ethical? Dogbert: I assure you that your competitor is doing the same thing to you. They're paying a public relations firm a fortune to steer the media toward defaming your company. Dilbert: Who did they hire to defame us. Dogbert: Probably someone awesome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration

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Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #fraternization, #bad haircut, #poor font choice, #hand sanitizer, #substance over style

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Alice: I'm judging the quality of your business case by your bad haircut and your poor font choice. I plan to use a quart of hand sanitizer when I'm done touching your document. Man: I value substance over style. Alice: How's that working out?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #job interview, #work long hours, #14 hour days, #bad descions, #bad decision maker, #good communicator

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Interview Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #thinking, #creative person, #bad at math, #analytical skills, #permanent

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Coworker: I like to think of myself as a creative person. Alice: And by that you mean you're bad at math and you don't have any analytical skills. Dilbert: Is it permanent?