Balance Sheet Comic Strips - Page 5
90 Results for Balance Sheet
View 41 - 50 results for balance sheet comic strips. Discover the best "Balance Sheet" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 04, 1995's comic on:
The Boss hands Dilbert a sheet of paper and says, "From now on, salaries will be based on your predicted success, not your past performance." While Dilbert reads the report, the Boss says, "We ran a computer model against your education and DNA information. We predict you'll die in a stapler mishap within a week." Dilbert asks, "What if I disagree with this prediction?" The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "Write up your opinion and staple it to the analysis."
Share March 21, 1995's comic on:
Catbert stands on a cubicle wall waving a document. Catbert says to Alice, "Here's the new org chart. Maybe you're on it and maybe not." Alice jumps up and tries to reach the sheet as Catbert holds it out of reach. Catbert taunts, "Ooh! Nice try! So close. Too bad." Catbert ties the chart to a string and dangles it into the cubicles. Wally and Alice lunge for it. Catbert says, "It's fun to play with them before downsizing them."
Share September 15, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert hands his timesheet to a secretary and says, "Here's my timesheet, filled out in increments of fifteen minutes." Dilbert says, "As usual, I coded the useless hours spent in meetings as 'work,' whereas the time I spent in the shower designing circuits in my mind as 'non-work.'" Dilbert continues, "Interestingly, even the time I spend complaining about my lack of productivity is considered 'work.'" The secretary thinks, "I hate my life."
Share October 20, 1995's comic on:
Angel 1: Mister Dogbert, we've decided to send you back to earth as an angel. Your mission is to help people in need. We have given you special powers. Angel 2: We'll be watching. wally: Okay, is whats the price for the new hair plus buns of steel? Ahem. Dogbert: Ist all on the price sheet.
Share July 31, 1997's comic on:
Wally stands infront of his cubicle. The Boss says, "Due to space constraints, some people will have to share cubicles." The Boss reads from a sheet of paer. "According to the list, your new roommate will be... the copy machine." Wally sits at his desk, his head pressed into the butt of the large woman standing behind him at the copy machine. She says, "Is it claustrophobic in here or is it just me?"
Share August 12, 1997's comic on:
Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert stands atop Wally's computer monitor and waves a new policy sheet in Wally's face. "Here's the new 'clean desk' policy, Wally." Wally reads from the sheet, "Employees must lick their workplaces clean at the end of each business day." Wally stands in the doorway to the Boss's office. He says, "Do they seriously think we're this spineless and stupid?" The Boss responds, "Ahm nah chanthing it."
Share February 07, 1998's comic on:
The Boss stands behind Alice at her desk. He reads from a sheet of paper and says, "Out new e-mail monitoring system shows that you sent a personal message last week." Alice looks non-plussed. Alice sticks her thumbs in her ears and waves her hands. She says, "Coincidentally, the new Alice monitoring system detects twenty hours of unpaid overtime." The Boss thinks, "According to the manual, productivity will soar now." Alice says, "Beep.. beep.. boop.. now detecting cluelessness in the vicinity."
Share June 08, 1998's comic on:
Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert on The Boss' desk. The Boss sitting behind the desk. Catbert says, "Bad news: The employees are reading a newspaper." Catbert continues, "If they see the low unemployment rate, they'll know the balance of power has swung their way." Wally, Dilbert, and Alice sitting at table with newspapers on it. Alice holding a newspaper. Wally says, I plan to use the cat as a gargoyle on my cubicle roof." Dilbert responds, "If you run a current through him you can zap bugs."
Share June 13, 1998's comic on:
Wally, Dilbert, and The Boss siting at table. The Boss reads from a sheet of paper, "Dangerous asbestos has been found in every room in our building." The Boss continues, "The problem will be addressed using a ... scientific process." Wally, Dilbert, and The Boss sitting at table. The Boss continues, "Something called attrition."
Share June 20, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally standing outside a cubicle holding mugs. Dilbert says, "An executive search firm is trying to find a new C.E.O. for us." Wally says, "It'll be tough." Wally says, "No ethical person would board a sinking ship just to plunder its treasure." Ted and Dogbert sitting at table. Sheet of paper in front of Dogbert. Ted hands Dogbert a pen and says, "Are you ready to take the challenge?" Dogbert responds, "Oh, I'll take more than that!"