Behind Back Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Behind Back

View 41 - 50 results for behind back comic strips. Discover the best "Behind Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #come back, #manager, #moron, #promotions, #raises, #leaving company

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Alice says, "When I was your age, we had things called 'promotions' and 'raises.'" Alice continues, "These days you can only get ahead by leaving the company for a year then coming back as a high-level manager." Asok says, "So the theory must be that anyone who would return to this company is . . ." Alice answers, "A moron. Correct."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thermostat wars, #warm for you, #too hot, #compromise, #temprature, #shirtless men

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Thermostat wars." Wally stands behind Alice's desk wearing only a tie and his underwear. He says, "Be reasonable, Alice. When it's warm enough for you, it's too hot for normal humans." Wally continues, "Logically, you could wear a sweater. But there's nothing I can do to be less warm. Therefore, you must compromise." Dilbert asks, "Did she buy the argument?" Dilbert is also wearing a tie and boxer shorts. Wally holds a mirror and an electric razor. He replies, "No. But I'm going to shave my back and take another run at it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bearer, #bead news, #tragic, #find humor, #husband, #village people, #coming back, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm going into business as a professional bearer of bad news." Dogbert continues, "I'll try to find the humor that is inherent in every tragic situation." Dogbert stands on a woman's doorstep. The woman says, "I give up. What IS the difference between my husband and the seventies pop group 'Village People'?" Dogbert says, "They're coming back."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #plastic, #surgery, #decision, #nobody, #toucan sam, #cafeteria, #intern, #janet, #lips, #puffed, #tethered, #snorted

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman with a huge nose tells Dilbert and Wally, "I've decided to have plastic surgery." Dilbert replies, "Frankly, I think it's the right decision." Dilbert continues, "Maybe then nobody will call you 'Toucan Sam' behind your back in the cafeteria every day." Wally says, "Ooh, and remember when the summer intern left?" Wally continues, "The joke was 'Maybe Janet accidentally snorted him up her nose.'" Janet says, "Actually, I'm only going to have my lips puffed." Wally whispers, "I hope the nurses are tethered down." Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and a bandage on his head. He tells Dogbert, "I got off easy . . . Poor Norman got snorted."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #telewedgie, #relocating, #compnay, #phone behind, #belt level, #albeit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've asked Bob the Dinosaur to cal your CEO and give him a telewedgie." Bob holds a cordless phone. Dilbert asks, "Will that stop him from moving the company?" Over the phone, Bob says, "... now hold the phone behind you at belt level..." Dogbert says, "Stranger things have happened, albeit not often." Bob yanks the CEO's underwear through the phone, giving him a wedgie. On the other end, the CEO screams.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joined late, #dinosaur, #hiding behind furniture, #space

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "For those who joined us late, this is Bob the Dinosaur. He lives with Dilbert and me." Bob says, "Hi." Dogbert says, "Dinosaurs aren't extinct, they're just hiding behind the furniture." Dinosaur Bob says, "This is Dawn, my mate, and little Rex." Rex waves. Dobbert says, "You'll notice that they use a lot of space and they aren't very relevent." Bob says, "I think Rex has my eyes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #around house, #cubicle, #dang, #house covered, #telecommuting, #giant cubicle, #im free

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands at Alice's front door and screams through a megaphone bullhorn, "Come out of there Alice! We know you're telecommuting!" Alice hides behind the couch and says, "Never! I'm free! You can't make me go back to a cubicle!" A large cubicle surrounds Alice's house. She lets out a small, "Dang."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #autographs for sale, #check back, #martin luther, #martin luther king jr., #religious leader, #softball signed

View Transcript

Transcript

A man holds a baseball and says, "Wow... a softball signed by Martin Luther, leader of the Protestant Reformation." The man hands the ball to Dogbert. "I'm impressed, but what I'm looking for is something signed by Martin Luther King Jr." The man says, "Too bad you don't have anything from him." Dogbert scribbles on a baseball with a pen and says, "Check back in ten minutes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #starting business, #masseur, #cubicle dwellers, #touch my back, #chair massage

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a ledge or table. Bob the dinosaur says, "I'm starting my own business as a masseur." He has a towel draped over his arm. Bob says, "My specialty will be in-office chair massages for cubicle dwellers." Wally sits at his desk in front of his computer and says, "Were you planning to touch my back at any point?" Bob massages Wally office chair and says, "It's a CHAIR massage, pervert."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deputy of common sense, #four hour meeting, #behind schedule, #agenda, #morale is low

View Transcript

Transcript

During a staff meeting, Dogbert stands on the table holding his gun and says, "FREEZE!!" Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and says, "You scheduled a four-hour meeting to find out why people are behind schedule!" The guy says, "No, look at the agenda! The fourth hour is about why morale is so low. A woman next to him whispers to Dogbert, Shoot him."