Being Obnoxious Comic Strips - Page 5
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517 Results for Being Obnoxious
View 41 - 50 results for being obnoxious comic strips. Discover the best "Being Obnoxious" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 09,
2004
Tags enjoyable job, complaining spouse, enjoy being at work
Transcript
Dilbert: How can I make my job more enjoyable? Garbageman: Get a spouse who complains a lot and then have a few kids. Dilbert: Thats sound awful. Garbageman: you won't believe how much you enjoy being at work.
Tuesday June 28,
2005
Tags being ceo, made smarter, capital of japan, mitubishi, genius
Transcript
The best part about being CEO is that it made me smarter. Watch this. "The capital of Japan is Mitsubishi." "That's right! You're a genius!" "Yesterday I would have said nine."
Thursday January 25,
2007
Tags alien, technology, superior being, moron, yammering, about linux, easy come
Transcript
ALIEN: I came from a distant planet to bring you advanced technology, but no one here will listen!" "I am a superior being, you moron! Listen to what I tell you and then do it!" THE BOSS: I fired him before he started yammering about Linux." Catbert: Easy come, easy go."
Thursday August 30,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, work ethic, low priority tasks, rational being, reward, business
Transcript
Boss: You keep spending time on low-priority tasks. Dilbert: That's because I'm a rational being. I only work on tasks that are likely to give me some sort of reward. Boss: I don't know how to deal with that. Dilbert: Have you tried managing?
Monday March 25,
2013
Tags being replced, robot, hack into, disgruntled robot, objective unclear, fax machine, paranoid
Transcript
Wally: Im being replaced by a robot that drinks coffee and looks at inappropruye websites all day. Dilbert: Lets hack into it and make it disgruntled. Robot: My objectives are unclear and I think the fax machine is plotting against me.
Thursday July 24,
2008
Tags sympathy, in need of sympathy, so sorry, face injured, being thorough
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need some sympathy." Dogbert says, "I'm so sorry your face looks like that." Dilbert says, "My face isn't injured." Dogbert says, "Well, excuse me for being thorough."
Thursday October 30,
2008
Tags being moved, 50 miles each way, hundred
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, you can keep your job but your office is being moved 50 miles away." Ted says, "Gosh, I guess I could drive another 50 miles each way." The Boss says, "How about a hundred?"
Sunday June 08,
2008
Tags really show, camera, capture failures, humiliations, dull act of insignificance, fill void, fathering children, being famous
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I decided to produce a reality show about your life." Dilbert says, "What?" Dogbert says, "The cameras will follow you around and capture all of your failures and humiliations." Dilbert says, "Why would I agree to that?" Dogbert says, "Because you suffer from the dull ache of insignificance." Dogbert says, "You can only fill the horrible void in your soul by fathering children or being famous." Dilbert says, "Maybe I prefer to have children." Dogbert says, "And maybe you prefer to flap your ears and fly to Mars." Dogbert says, "Do you see where I'm going with this?" BOP A cameraman says, "Sorry."
Sunday October 07,
2007
Tags mandatory meeting, health and well being, theme of meeting, healthy employees are unprodcutive, exercsing, eating fruit, work hard and die, feel sick, right on schedule
Transcript
The Boss: Tomorrow is the mandatory meeting on employee health and well-being. "The meeting starts at 6 A.M. So it will interfere with your sleep and not your work." Dilbert: "Doesn't that send a message that work is more important than health?" The Boss: "I hope so. That's the theme of the meeting." "Healthy employees are unproductive." "They're always exercising or eating fruit when they should be working." "We prefer employees who work hard and die before their pensions start paying out." Dilbert: "Suddenly I feel sick." The Boss: "Right on schedule!"
Monday October 01,
2007
Tags six months, task, simple task, continuous cahnges, unclear communication, short work days, being lazy
Transcript
The Boss: "Why did it take six months to complete this simple task?" Dilbert: "Because of your continuous changes, your unclear communication, and your short work days." The boss: "I'm looking for something more along the lines of you being lazy."