Best Startegy Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

302 Results for Best Startegy

View 41 - 50 results for best startegy comic strips. Discover the best "Best Startegy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #everyones opinion, #Advice, #best job, #crazy ideas, #mental, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "I'll get everyone's opinion, and then I'll make my decision." Alice: "Translation: you'll take the advice of whoever does the best job of trash-talking everyone else." The Boss: "Where do you get these crazy ideas?" Dilbert: "She's mental."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best negotiator, #vendor, #engineering, #training, #resist, #facts, #infinite liability, #unidentified gizma

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "The vendor is sending their best negotiator." "You must use all of your engineering training to resist her tricks and look only at the facts." woman: "And if you agree to infinite liability, you get a .00001% chance of dating me. Plus a minute to play with an unidentified gizmo."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product designer, #success, #best artists, #design professionals, #ate crayons, #intruders

View Transcript

Transcript

Product designer Dogbert: Good design is essential to you success. Thats why I empty only the best artists and design professionals. Who ate all the crayons again?! Ratbert: Intruders?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change contract, #signed months ago, #hurt to ask, #discount, #clueless, #primary vendors, #acts of god, #poltergeists, #steal best

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss hands Alice a piece of paper. The boss says, "Alice make a few changes to this contract." Alice says, "Changes? This contract was signed months ago." The boss says, "It doesn't hurt to ask." Alice says, "You want me to ask for a sixty percent discount?" The boss says, "No one said it would be easy." Alice says, "You're asking me to be a clueless jerk in front of our primary vendor." Alice says, "Please don't ask me to do this." The boss says, "And ask if they'll change the part about "acts of God" to include poltergeists." The boss walks away and thinks, "That's why our vendors never try to steal our best employees."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #salesman, #questions, #best running shoe, #sneakers are sneakers, #far superior, #expensive ones

View Transcript

Transcript

SALE: DIlbert is standing in a shoe store looking around. Alan, a salesman from behind asks, "Do you have any questions?" Dilbert turns and asks, "What's your best running shoe?" The salesman replies, "They're all the same. Sneakers are sneakers." The store manager interrupts, "Alan, may I have a word with you?" Dilbert continues to inspect the shoes as the manager and salesman are conferencing in the back. The salesman returns and says, "The expensive sneakers are far superior." Dilbert replies, "I'll take them!" The salesman thinks, "I feel like I'm clubbing a baby seal." Dilbert is holding up a sneaker and asks, "Will these work with my old socks?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best, #hire back, #not old job, #sales, #train you to lie, #worst, #desparate, #take anything, #need money, #job, #take advantage of, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Dilbert, "We can hire you back but not at your old job." Dilbert responds, "That's okay. I'll do anything but sales. I would be the worst salesperson on Earth." Catbert says, "It's sales." Dilbert replies, "Did I just say worst when I meant best?" Catbert responds, "We'll have to train you to lie better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating pretty boys, #look best, #act best, #more bread!, #knows he can't do better

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm tired of dating pretty boys where I need to look and act my best all the time." "I want a guy who knows he can't do better than me, no matter what I look like." "MORE BREAD!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alleged dinosuar, #beer can, #best barbecue sauce, #caught dinosaur, #dental floss, #pull tab, #topper vs boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper vs. the Boss "It was the biggest fish ever caught in that lake!" "That's nothing." "I once caught a dinosaur by using nothing but dental floss and a pull tab from a beer can." "I'd like to see this alleged dinosaur." "Too late. I also make the world's best barbecue sauce."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best marketing expert, #resume, #nobel prize, #five olympic medals, #marketing biathlon

View Transcript

Transcript

"We need to hire the best marketing expert we can find." "Your resume says you've won the Nobel Prize in marketing, and five Olympic gold medals in the marketing biathlon." "What's a marketing biathlon?" "You ski up to people who won't buy your crap and you shoot them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managing, #easier, #awards for best places, #work, #handle situation, #losers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Managing is a lot easier now that we've given up on winning one of those 'Best Places to Work' awards. Dilbert: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Not for losers." "There was a time when I wouldn't have known how to handle that situation."