Brain Wash Customoers Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for brain wash customoers comic strips. Discover the best "Brain Wash Customoers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #self conscious, #tiny brain, #war wax, #bob the donisoaur

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Bob the Dinosaur says to Dogbert, "Sometimes I feel self-conscious because my brain is so tiny." Bob continues, "Here, let me reach in my ear and pull it out." Dogbert looks at what Bob is holding in his hand and says, "I think that's ear wax, Bob." Bob replies, "Maybe. But I'm putting it back just in case."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #same task, #other people, #clever ploy, #create healthy internal competition, #average cauliflower, #brain, #fruit kingdom

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Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I have a bet about why you assigned me to the same task as three other people." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's a clever ploy to create healthy internal competition. Wally thinks you're just dumber than the average cauliflower." The Boss says, "May I point out that cauliflower is the brain of the fruit kingdom." Wally looks at Dilbert and says, "Yes!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #brain, #animals

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Dilbert and Dogbert enter the laboratory. Dilbert says, "I've decided we should operate along more classic lines, like Dr. Frankenstein's lab." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a stool and asks, "You know what that makes you?" Dogbert replies, "I've got a hunch . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's practice . . ." Dilbert says, "Dogbert, fetch me a brain!" Dogbert asks, "Like your present model, or one that works?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bird, #alive, #car, #resist, #old, #smoe, #blob, #little, #brain

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Dilbert drives his car. He says, "Uh-oh, what's that lying in the road up there?" Dilbert says, "It looks like a squished animal, or maybe a bird." Dogbert sits in the passenger's seat. Dilbert continues, "I think it moved . . . Maybe it's still alive." Dogbert turns his head and says, "I don't want to look . . . It could be disgusting." Dilbert turns his head back and says, ". . . Can't resist. I have to look anyway." Dilbert screams and says, "It's disgusting!!" Dilbert says, "Oh, wait . . . It's just an old shoe." Dilbert cries, "What's that little blob up ahead?!" Dogbert replies, "I think it's your brain."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1996's comic on:


Tags #idiotic promise, #brain, #amazing thing, #untapped power, #solution, #enjoy walk

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, ". . . So the salesperson made an idiotic promise to our customer. Now it's MY job to fix it." Dogbert says, "The brain is an amazing thing." Dilbert asks, "Are you saying that if I use the untapped power of my brain, there's a solution?" Dogbert replies, "No, I'm saying my amazing brain filtered out your boring story so I could enjoy my walk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1996's comic on:


Tags #technology allaince, #small silicon startup, #corporate culture, #different, #pierced brain, #mister conservative

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You'll head our technology alliance with a small Silicon Valley start-up." The Boss continues, "Their corporate culture is a bit different from ours. Try to be flexible." Dilbert and a man with a goatee and a ring through his head sit at a conference table. Dilbert opens his briefcase and says, "I've never seen a pierced brain before." The man puts his bare feet on the table and says, "I think I'll call you 'Mister Conservative.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #marilyn vos savant, #smartest human alive, #often flier program, #phone comapny, #who saves most?, #brain scarred

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Dilbert sits at a table with stacks of brochures in front of him. Dogbert stands on the table and says, "This is Marilyn Vos Savant, the smartest human alive." A woman stands behind Dogbert. Dogbert says, "She will help you understand your airline 'Often Flier' program." Marilyn looks at a brochure and says, "I'm stumped." Dilbert asks, "After this, could you tell me which phone company saves me the most money?" Marilyn replies, "My brain's trying to escape; you scared it." Her brain crawls out her ear.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #bad news, #perfromance review, #bell curve, #make up flaws, #does not wash hands, #after restroom

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The Boss tells Wally, "Bad news on your performance review, Wally." The Boss continues, "Everyone performed the same. But I'm required to rank the group on a bell curve." The Boss continues, "I had to make up some flaws to move you down the curve. Here's a pen. Sign it." Wally reads the review, "Employee does not wash hands after using the restroom."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #biggest prospect, #brain overload, #kenny sales weasel, #tech specs, #uses electricity, #car

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, you'll work with 'Kenny the sales-weasel' on our biggest prospect." Dilbert and Kenny get into a car. Kenny says, "Tell me all of our product's technical specs on the way. I like to be prepared." They ride in the car. Dilbert says, "Our product is beige. It uses electricity." Kenny says, "Whoa! Brain overload!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #chips, #hear, #latest, #brain, #research, #proven, #stimulation, #conscious, #absurd, #rationalizations, #random, #interaction, #arguably, #control

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Ratbert sits on the hassock eating potato chips. Dogbert says, "Hi, Ratbert, may I have some chips?" Ratbert answers, "No, sorry. There are only enough for one." Dogbert asks, "Did you hear about the latest brain research?" Dogbert says, "Science has proven that the part of the brain responsible for conscious thought doesn't show any stimulation until AFTER you act." Dogbert continues, "That means you never make conscious decisions; all you do is rationalize what you've done after the fact." Dogbert continues, "Your life is nothing but a series of absurd rationalizations for the random interaction of chemicals in your brain." Ratbert starts blinking. Ratbert falls over, drops the bag of chips and screams, "Aaagh!!! My life is absurd!!" Dogbert sits on the hassock eating the chips. He says, "That was mean, but aruguably I couldn't control myself."