Ceo Comic Strips - Page 5

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627 Results for Ceo

View 41 - 50 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Understands Wally

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Ceo Understands Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buzzwords, deception, economists, economy, jargon, chief economist, quarter, exchange rate, derivatives, yen, monetary policy

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Boss: Our new Chief Economist, Wally, will tell us what to expect in the coming quarter. Wally: The exchange rate on derivatives will trigger a bubble in monetary policy and deflate the yen. CEO: I totally understand that and have no questions.Boss: Wow! He's good.

Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert

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Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punishment, cat, throwing, executives, animals

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CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.

Ceo Buys People On The Internet

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Ceo Buys People On The Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book, internet, friends, struggle, buying friends, fake, technology

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CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book.

Ceo Is Slave Owner

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Ceo Is Slave Owner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slave, slaves, slavery, buying, pay, wages, housework, house servant, maid, maids, help, money

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Wally: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: No, nothing like that. All I did was buy some Elbonians on the Internet. Wally: Do they clean your house without pay? CEO: I assume they're a tidy people.

Ceo Is On Nine Boards

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Ceo Is On Nine Boards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags board, board member, power, bragging, focus, attention

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CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.

Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing

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Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags small talk, conversation, criticism, executives, salary, wages, fairness, offense, offend, money

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Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.

Ceo Compensation

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Ceo Compensation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, worth, salary, wages, fairness, fair, pay, expenses, saving, rich people, executives

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Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.

Ceo Sits On His Wallet

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Ceo Sits On His Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, perspective, suffering, competition

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CEO: I hate to complain, but it hurts when I sit on my wallet for too long. Asok: I risked an honor killing to pay my rent. CEO: This is why I hate to complain. Asok: I know a hundred ways to eat a spider.

Internet Wants Ceo To Die

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Internet Wants Ceo To Die - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, shame, unpopular, popularity, public relations, gawker

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CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.

Ceo Fixes His Problem

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Ceo Fixes His Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product safety, danger, battery, recall, cell phone, samsung, media, Entertainment, technology

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CEO: The press says I need to resign because of our exploding phones fiasco. Dilbert: Maybe you can change their minds by sending the press our new model that doesn't explode. CEO: I already sent them the exploding phones and said it was our new models. Your way left too much to chance.