Change Topic Comic Strips - Page 5
287 Results for Change Topic
View 41 - 50 results for change topic comic strips. Discover the best "Change Topic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 23, 1995's comic on:
Alice sits at her desk. Wally enters and says, "I had a few suggestions on your document, Alice." Wally bangs his head on her monitor. Alice says, "Thanks." The Boss approaches Alice's desk and says, "I've made some upgrades to your document, Alice." Alice looks at the paper and says, "That's just what it needed: a bunch of obtuse acronyms and jargon." Alice continues, "Oooh, looky! You've also made elegant multi-topic sentences out of my stubby clear ones!" The Boss replies, "Thank you. And put me down as the author since I'm the boss." Alice says, "Maybe I should distribute little plastic statues of you with every copy. How about that?" Alice hands Dilbert a statue and a document and says, "Here's your copy, here's your statue, don't ask." Dilbert says, "Our quality is low, but at least we don't get credit."
Share March 02, 1999's comic on:
The boss stands in Dilbert's cubilce. The boss says, "Prepare a presentation for our foreign visitors." Dilbert says, "On what topic?" The boss says, "It doesn't matter. I'm told they're from Austria and they only understand their own language." The boss walks away and thinks, "Or was it Australia?"
Share October 30, 1999's comic on:
Alice is standing in front of the Bosses desk, the Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because you came to work on one of your vacation days." The Boss says, "Employees are not allowed to change vacation days without permission." The Boss says, "On an unrelated note, try to be more empowered."
Share March 13, 2000's comic on:
Wally explains at a meeting: "My idea is to change our department name from engineering to..." He continues: "e-engineering." Wally says: "I'm working on a similar idea for marketing but it's not done yet."
Share April 26, 2000's comic on:
The Engineering Liason says to Dilbert, "Tell me your project status and I'll translate for our clients." Dilbert says, "The project will never be completed because our idiot clients change the requirements every other day." The Engineering Liason responds, "I'll just say you're drunk."
Share October 21, 2000's comic on:
Catbert says to Alice, "You think you're satisfied with your job." Catbert continues, yelling, "In reality you're just afraid of change!" Walking away and purring, Catbert thinks, "That was some of my best work."
Share March 12, 2001's comic on:
Wally and a male co-worker are listening to The Boss. The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change." The Boss listens as the male co-worker stands up and says, "You're right! I'm going to get a gender change operation and move to China!" Wally says to The Boss, "I've always wondered what would happen if someone listened to you."
Share September 19, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Dogbert Consults. Dogbert says to The Boss, "It's easy to create a strategy." Dogbert continues, "Write down everything you do, preceded by the phrase, 'increase our market share by...'" The Boss asks, "What if we change what we do?" Dogbert responds, "Call me and I'll sell you some more valuable advice."
Share January 21, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert is meeting with a customer. He says, "I'll talk to you every day to see if you change your mind." The customer replies, "Don't talk to me every day." Dilbert says, "You might change your mind." Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Did you know that if you cross 'sales' with 'talk' you get 'stalk?'"
Share March 27, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert is meeting with a business associate. The business associate says, "We're the least expensive vendor unless your requirements change mid- project." Dilbert responds, "So... I'll get fired if I don't select the lowest bid, or I'll be fired later when the bills for change orders pour in." Dilbert says, "I prefer to be fired mid-project." The business associate replies, "We offer outplacement service with every sale."