Charged Project Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

688 Results for Charged Project

View 41 - 50 results for charged project comic strips. Discover the best "Charged Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags change project, actual knowledge, changes, voicemail

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We just had a meeting and decided to change your project substantially." "We didn't invite you to the meeting because things go smoother when nobody has any actual knowledge." Dilbert: "So, what are the changes?" The Boss: "If I remember, I'll leave you a voice mail."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, project, cooler, acronym, joke, anticipated, beginning, binders, fulfilling, Dogbert, job

View Transcript

Transcript

"I was just reading your project status report." "You say the project is delayed 'due to the ongoing bungling of a clueless, pointy-haired individual.'" "Instead of saying 'due to', it would read better as 'facilitated by'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags canceling project, cooler acronym, anticipated move, carry empty binders, less fullfilling

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm cancelling your project so I can give your funding to a project that has a much cooler acronym." "Ha! The joke's on you! I anticipated this move from the beginning and have done nothing but carry empty binders for weeks!" "Being good at your job is less fulfilling than you might think, Dogbert."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags six months, project six months, one month, annual visit, doesn't understand, selfish boss, impossible tasks, time frames etc

View Transcript

Transcript

"If I start the project today and work nights and weekends it will take...oh, six months." "It has to be done in ONE month so we can show it to our VP on her annual visit." "I have to know; does it even cross your mind to handle this differently?" "I'll need daily status reports on why you're so behind."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags baywatch, morale is low, talk of mutiny, project staus report, death to boss, pointy haired one

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project cancelled, answer, task delegated, craft response, boss delegating job, do nothing boss, fraud

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Do you remember when the company President visited? You asked why your project had been cancelled. He promised to get an answer, That task has been delegated all the way down to me. Id like you to craft a response for me, You'll have to put your new project on hold until this is done.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags final design, zebra, fisnih on time, canceled project, month ago, legal, binder, dont travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's the final design for Project 'Zebra'. I worked day and night for weeks to finish it on time. The Boss: I canceled that project a month ago, I meat to tell you. Dilbert: In some countries it would be legal to kill you with this binder, The Boss: Thats why I don't travel.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, filberts job security, menacing statements, one option, reducing headcount, works hard, finish project

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The only way to finish the project on time is by adding four engineers. Wally: theres one other option. you could make menacing statements about filberts job security until he works five times as hard. Just kidding. hee hee! The Boss: Ive been thinking about reducing headcount.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rock paper scissors, project approved, toss up, random selection

View Transcript

Transcript

How Decisions Are Made The Boss: 1-2-3 Rock! scissors! The Boss: Your project is approved...unless scissors can't cut rock. Dilbert: assume its sheet rock.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags beat it out, changing mind, engineering, goons, project requirements, thoughts, won't share, meditation

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: The project requirements are forming in my mind. Now there changing ....changing...changing...changing...okay ...no, wait ,,,,changing ...changing...done. Ted: Naturally, Wont be sharing any of these thoughts with engineering. Dilbert: I budgeted for some goons to beat it out of you.