Charged Project Comic Strips - Page 5
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688 Results for Charged Project
View 41 - 50 results for charged project comic strips. Discover the best "Charged Project" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 21,
1994
Tags change project, actual knowledge, changes, voicemail
Transcript
The Boss: "We just had a meeting and decided to change your project substantially." "We didn't invite you to the meeting because things go smoother when nobody has any actual knowledge." Dilbert: "So, what are the changes?" The Boss: "If I remember, I'll leave you a voice mail."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday May 24,
1994
Tags the boss, Dilbert, project, cooler, acronym, joke, anticipated, beginning, binders, fulfilling, Dogbert, job
Transcript
"I was just reading your project status report." "You say the project is delayed 'due to the ongoing bungling of a clueless, pointy-haired individual.'" "Instead of saying 'due to', it would read better as 'facilitated by'."
Wednesday May 25,
1994
Tags canceling project, cooler acronym, anticipated move, carry empty binders, less fullfilling
Transcript
"I'm cancelling your project so I can give your funding to a project that has a much cooler acronym." "Ha! The joke's on you! I anticipated this move from the beginning and have done nothing but carry empty binders for weeks!" "Being good at your job is less fulfilling than you might think, Dogbert."
Thursday June 09,
1994
Tags six months, project six months, one month, annual visit, doesn't understand, selfish boss, impossible tasks, time frames etc
Transcript
"If I start the project today and work nights and weekends it will take...oh, six months." "It has to be done in ONE month so we can show it to our VP on her annual visit." "I have to know; does it even cross your mind to handle this differently?" "I'll need daily status reports on why you're so behind."
Monday July 04,
1994
Tags baywatch, morale is low, talk of mutiny, project staus report, death to boss, pointy haired one
Transcript
Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!
Tuesday July 05,
1994
Tags project cancelled, answer, task delegated, craft response, boss delegating job, do nothing boss, fraud
Transcript
The Boss: Do you remember when the company President visited? You asked why your project had been cancelled. He promised to get an answer, That task has been delegated all the way down to me. Id like you to craft a response for me, You'll have to put your new project on hold until this is done.
Friday August 05,
1994
Tags final design, zebra, fisnih on time, canceled project, month ago, legal, binder, dont travel
Transcript
Dilbert: Here's the final design for Project 'Zebra'. I worked day and night for weeks to finish it on time. The Boss: I canceled that project a month ago, I meat to tell you. Dilbert: In some countries it would be legal to kill you with this binder, The Boss: Thats why I don't travel.
Monday August 22,
1994
Tags engineers, filberts job security, menacing statements, one option, reducing headcount, works hard, finish project
Transcript
Dilbert: The only way to finish the project on time is by adding four engineers. Wally: theres one other option. you could make menacing statements about filberts job security until he works five times as hard. Just kidding. hee hee! The Boss: Ive been thinking about reducing headcount.
Saturday September 03,
1994
Tags rock paper scissors, project approved, toss up, random selection
Transcript
How Decisions Are Made The Boss: 1-2-3 Rock! scissors! The Boss: Your project is approved...unless scissors can't cut rock. Dilbert: assume its sheet rock.
Thursday September 22,
1994
Tags beat it out, changing mind, engineering, goons, project requirements, thoughts, won't share, meditation
Transcript
Ted: The project requirements are forming in my mind. Now there changing ....changing...changing...changing...okay ...no, wait ,,,,changing ...changing...done. Ted: Naturally, Wont be sharing any of these thoughts with engineering. Dilbert: I budgeted for some goons to beat it out of you.