Claim Ticket Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

72 Results for Claim Ticket

View 41 - 50 results for claim ticket comic strips. Discover the best "Claim Ticket" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #photocopier, #access code, #proprietary information, #same comapny, #ask question, #who's on first

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the copier reading a message that says, "Please enter photocopier access code." A woman stands behind him. Dilbert asks, "What's the code for this machine?" The woman replies, "That's proprietary information." Dilbert says, "We work for the same company. My cubicle is down the hall." The woman says, "I have no way of verifying your claim. Anybody could come in here and say that." Dilbert says, "Ask me a question that only an employee of this company could answer." The woman replies, "Okay." The woman asks, "What is the access code for this copier?" Dilbert looks at the woman. Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. The woman holds up a document and says, "I just have one . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happy airlines, #vacation, #data in computer, #Dogbert, #gate 13, #never saw luggage, #misfits offended tantra, #goddess of flight

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands his plane ticket to a woman at the Happy Airlines counter. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Vacation, here we come!" The woman types on the computer. Dilbert watches her type and thinks, "Why do they have to enter so much stuff in the computer?" Dilbert thinks, "They already have our reservation and seat assignment in there. What else do they need?" Dilbert says, "I'm developing a sudden fear of flying." Dogbert says, "Step aside." Dogbert stands on the counter and shouts, "What's going on up here??!!" The woman says, "Gate 13. Have a nice flight." Dogbert says, "Okay." The woman types, "They never saw their beloved luggage again. The misfits always regretted offending Tantra, the Goddess of Flight. The end."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob flabeau, #lifetime gullibility awar, #biograohy, #false memeories, #herbal therapist, #solid gold

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is standing on a stool at a podium. He announces: "The Lifetime Gullibility Award goes to Bob Flabeau." He continues: "I would read Bob's biography but it's comprised entirely of false memories planted by his herbal therapist." Dogbert holds out the award as Bob Flabeau walks eagerly up to claim it. Dogbert says to him: "It looks like a stick but it's solid gold." Bob exclaims: "Wow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #many tasks, #better, #never born, #technically true, #slap later

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok reports at a meeting: "I performed many tasks, but I can not claim any accomplishments." He continues: "Because things might have turned out better had I never been born." He turns to Dilbert: "Technically, it's true." Dilbert tells Asok: "Remind me to slap you later."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reservation, #computers are cardboard, #props, #furniture store, #security prurposes, #frisk me

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at the airport. The Elbonian at the ticket counter of Elbonia Air says, "I don't see your reservation." The Elbonian continues, "Maybe it's because all of our computers are cardboard props that we stole from a furniture store." The Elbonian holds gloves out towards Dilbert and says, "For security purposes, would you care to frisk me?" Dilbert responds, "Yes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product brochures, #design awards, #great, #award winning designer, #can't stop complaining

View Transcript

Transcript

In a meeting, a co-worker hands Dilbert a brochure and exclaims, "The new product brochures have already won design awards!" Dilbert responds, "That's great, but our product won't do any of the things you claim here." The co-worker crosses his arm and says, "Well, who should we believe - the award-winning designer or the guy who can't stop complaining?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broken promises, #scammers, #lies, #vendor, #salesman, #telling lies, #deadlines, #software, #few extras, #unfinished features, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Vendor: We'll build your software with all the features you want plus a few extras. Dilbert: "Or maybe you'll start late and claim there's no way to do everything by the deadline." "Then you'll say that the unfinished features aren't important and you're losing money on the deal." Vendor: "I can't hear you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fresh cauliflower, #sleep, #operation oiwrked, #reminds me, #anesthesia, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

"First I'll saw open your head. Then I'll replace your faulty brain with a fresh cauliflower." "How do I know you won't put me to sleep, eat the cauliflower and claim the operation worked?" "That reminds me: your insurance doesn't cover anesthesia."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"If your lawyers are going to claim all of my patents, I demand my old job back." "Okay." "Really?" "Yay."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support "Yes, we do claim that our software is idiot-proof." "If you boght it, that's proof you're an idiot." "High five!"