Coffee Machine Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

438 Results for Coffee Machine

View 41 - 50 results for coffee machine comic strips. Discover the best "Coffee Machine" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #baby, #pregnancy, #maternity leave, #xerox, #machine, #copies, #deliver, #worker's rights

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Alice, who is pregnant, "When's the baby due?" Alice replies, "Any minute now." Alice continues, "This company has no maternity leave policy, so I'm going to deliver by the Xerox machine and keep working." Dilbert says to a man, "That doesn't seem fair." The man replies, "Yeah, especially if you need to make copies."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee & tea, #late, #coffee safety, #whats real, #trip, #coffee in face

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Don't start. I'm late for the mandatory coffee safety training. I'd better run. Hunh! Boss: I can't tell what's real anymore.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #drinking, #dependent, #chemicals, #slow, #work, #monday, #thursday

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I quit drinking coffee. I don't like to be dependent on chemicals." Dogbert asks, "How's it feel?" Dilbert replies, "I felt a little slow getting ready for work, but you have to expect that on a Monday." Dogbert says, "It's Thursday."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #invented, #auto petter, #machine, #dumbest, #idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a device and says to Dogbert, "I invented an auto-petter machine for you." Dilbert straps the machine to Dogbert's back. The auto-petter has a hand that rests on Dogbert's head. Dogbert says, "This is perhaps your dumbest idea ever." Dilbert starts the device and kneels on the floor in front of Dogbert. Dilbert says, "You like it. Admit it." Dogbert says, "Leave us alone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #laughed, #joke, #hard, #inhaled, #snorted, #time, #choked, #spit, #lurch, #bonk, #head, #coffee, #table, #ignoring, #life, #boring

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Remember the time you laughed at your own joke so hard that you inhaled and snorted at the same time?" Dogbert continues, "Then you choked on your own spit, which caused you to lurch over and bonk your head on the coffee table . . ." Dogbert asks, "Who says your life is boring?" Dilbert replies, "I'm ignoring you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #doctor, #patients, #turbocharged, #x-ray, #machine, #waiting, #room, #eyes, #diagnoses, #arrive, #mail, #stroke, #genius, #schedule, #hypochondriacs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, who is holding a stethoscope, says to a room full of people, "Attention, all patients!" Dogbert continues, "I have turbocharged the x-ray machine and aimed it at the waiting room. Everybody close your eyes for five minutes then leave. Your diagnoses will arrive by mail." Dogbert walks away saying, "It was a stroke of genius to schedule all of the hypochondriacs for the same day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #computer, #chip, #market, #machine, #date, #curve, #technology, #racing, #state, #edge, #museums

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dogbert says, "I just read that a new computer chip is on the market. Your machine is out of date." Dogbert continues, "You're behind the curve. Technology is racing ahead without you. You're no longer state-of-the-art or leading edge." Dogbert continues, "Sometimes people like you can get jobs in museums." Dilbert yells, "I bought this thing yesterday!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #man, #zombies, #coffee, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on top of a beverage container and says, "To be a zombie you must drink the zombie elixir." Dogbert continues, "The zombie elixir will remove any distracting thoughts of sleep or family life." A man looks in his mug and says, "It looks like coffee." Dogbert holds a giant spoon of sugar and says, "You have to add one scoop of zombie sugar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #the boss, #coffee, #squeeze

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss lifts the coffee pot and Alice stands behind him waiting to get some coffee. Alice squeezes one side of the Boss's hair. The Boss's hair stands straight up. Alice says, "In retrospect, that was exactly the kind of temptation I should just ignore."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #coffee, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss reaches for the coffee pot and thinks, "I'm the Boss. I can take the last bit of coffee without making a new pot." The Boss yells, "Look at me!! I'm taking the last drop!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dilbert says, "An actual human would feel guilt in this situation." The Boss says, "The pot needs washing."