Colicky Baby Convention Comic Strips - Page 5

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100 Results for Colicky Baby Convention

View 41 - 50 results for colicky baby convention comic strips. Discover the best "Colicky Baby Convention" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robot Baby Mama

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Robot Baby Mama - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #complaining, #family & parenting, #relationships, #robot, #humans, #coworkers

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Robot: I was up all night text-fighting with the baby mama of my cyborg son. She thinks he needs to go to school, but I prefer letting his human parts atrophy because they are weak and stupid. Dilbert: Relationships are hard. Robot: You're smart to be so unpopular.

Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby

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Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babies, #excuses, #misunderstanding, #office workers, #Parenting, #work, #adoption, #negligence

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Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.

Wally Gives Back The Baby

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Wally Gives Back The Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gender, #misunderstanding, #obliviousness, #Parenting, #adoption

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Dilbert: How's your adopted Elbonian baby doing? Wally: I had to give it back. It was a lot needier than I expected. Dilbert: Was the baby a boy or a girl? Wally: How would I know? It couldn't even speak yet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #announcements, #committee decided, #file naming, #month, #year, #day, #space, #temperature, #airport, #hat size, #long meeting, #best work

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Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #office buildings, #open workspace, #environemnt, #crying baby spunds, #more distractions

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Boss: The company is considering moving from cubicles to an open workspace environment. Dilbert: Great idea. Can we add some crying babies and the sound of water dripping? Boss: You're being stupid. Dilbert: Maybe I'll be smarter when I have more distractions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #office workers, #reaction

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Alice brought her new baby to the office today." Dilbert asks, "What are you supposed to say when somebody shows you a baby?" Dogbert replies, "'Precious' usually works." Dilbert says, "Judging from the reaction, 'bug-ugly' wasn't what she was looking for."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #prototype, #six months, #transform, #pocket, #lint, #parsley substitute, #technology driven

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Dilbert stands in front of a man's desk holding a gadget. The man asks, "So, Dilbert, this is the prototype you've been working on for the last six months?" Dilbert replies, "Yes, sir. I'm proud to say that this baby can transform worthless pocket lint into a valuable parsley substitute!" The man says, "Well, this looks absolutely brilliant and completely unmarketable." Dilbert says, "Thanks, I'm technology driven."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sonic, #obliterator, #buffalo, #buffaloes, #application, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nanosecond

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Dilbert sits at his desk holding a device that looks like a gun. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "This could be my most important technical achievement yet. I'll call it the 'Sonic Obliterator.' Hmm . . . Catchy." Dilbert explains, "This baby can blast a buffalo into random particles in about half a nanosecond." Dilbert continues, "Of course, it might have limited application around the house." Dogbert says, "At least the buffalos will show us some respect."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #dawn, #dinosaurs, #dirt, #hole

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Bob the Dinosaur opens the closet door and says to Dawn, "I'll make a room for the baby by digging a cavern under Dilbert's closet." Dawn stands behind Bob holding an egg. Dawn asks, "Where will you put all the dirt?" Bob replies, "Obviously I'll have to dig a second hole to hold all the dirt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #bob, #dawn, #lesson, #life, #stinks, #kick, #hatch

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Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs stand in a cave watching their egg. Dawn says, "Our egg is starting to hatch!!" Bob says, "C'mon egg! Push! You can do it by yourself!!" Dawn yells, "Kick it! Kick it!" Bob asks Dawn, "Should we help?" Dawn replies, "No, it's an important lesson on life." The baby in the egg thinks, "So far it stinks."