Copy A File Comic Strips - Page 5
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103 Results for Copy A File
View 41 - 50 results for copy a file comic strips. Discover the best "Copy A File" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 10,
2020
Ted Liked A Tweet
Tags #employment, #managers & supervisors, #fired, #business, #twitter, #tweet, #hacked, #technology, #social media, #file, #lie, #plausible, #liked, #unacceptable
Transcript
boss: ted, i have to fire you for liking an unacceptable tweet seven years ago on twitter. ed: it..it..wasn't me. someone hacked my account, or maybe my finger slipped. boss: which lie do you want me to put in your file? ted: did either of them sound plausible?
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday November 23,
2011
Tags #fraternization, #meetings, #emails, #no one responded, #project timeline, #consensus nor reality, #illusion of progress
Transcript
Dilbert: Once again, none of you responded to my emails this past week. So I put together a project time line that reflects neither consensus nor reality. Wally: Can I have a copy so I can mock it? Dilbert: No, I'm still enjoying the illusion of progress.
Tuesday July 28,
1992
Tags #exercise, #happiness, #Dogbert, #bob, #newsletter, #clueless, #professional, #wrestling, #home, #device, #looks, #brains, #healthy, #read
Transcript
Dogbert hands Bob the Dinosaur a publication and says, "Bob, here's a copy of my new newsletter for clueless people." Bob reads, "Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless: 1. Professional wrestling is all faked. 2. Nobody ever lost weight on a home exercise device." Bob looks upset as he continues to read, "3. Looks are more important to happiness than brains. 4. If people don't comment on you new hairdo, they hate it." Dogbert says, "It's not healthy to read them all at once, Bob."
Saturday May 01,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #optical, #server, #falling, #asleep, #police, #died, #disk, #engineering, #men and women, #boring
Transcript
Dilbert says to a woman, ". . . Then I said 'what about an optical disk file server.'" The woman thinks as she spills her coffee and starts to fall, "So boring, falling asleep . . ." Dilbert watches as the woman falls over backwards. Dilbert says to a police officer, "I don't know how she died. i was telling her about an optical . . ." The policeman falls asleep and begins to fall.
Monday June 26,
1995
Tags #saint dogbert, #mediate, #dispute, #computers, #desert and seek, #enlightenment, #path of computing, #plan springs, #endorsement, #contract, #end of line
Transcript
The Boss says, "I asked Saint Dogbert to mediate our dispute over what kind of computers are allowed here." Dogbert stands behind him wearing a miter and holding a scepter. Looking down from the top of a file cabinet, Dogbert raises his arms and says, "I shall go to the desert and seek enlightenment. When I return I will reveal the true path of computing." The caption says, "Palm Springs." Dogbert is at a table with a man holding a suitcase full of money. Behind the man is a woman with a sack of money. Dogbert says to the man, "You call this an endorsement contract?! Go to the end of the line!"
Monday December 11,
1995
Tags #email, #fax it, #goodby paperless, #hello cluless
Transcript
The Boss hands his secretary a document and says, "Send this by e-mail." The Boss continues, "Fax it, too, in case he doesn't check his e-mail. And mail the original so he has a clean copy." As the Boss walks away, the secretary says, "Goodbye 'paperless,' hello 'clueless.'"
Sunday September 23,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #procedures, #rules, #unmanageable, #interactions, #request, #additional, #Food, #p-39, #liquids
Transcript
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I've decided we need more structure in this household." Dilbert continues, "Things are out of control . . . We have no procedures . . . No rules . . . It's totally unmanageable." Dilbert points to a file cabinet and continues, "That's why I've developed a set of forms to guide our daily interactions." Dilbert continues, "For example, this P-38 form is a request for additional food." Dilbert continues, "The P-39 is for liquids and the P-40 is a convenient way to request both food and liquids." Dogbert says, "Give me a P-39 form . . . I'm a little dry." Later, Dogbert hands Dilbert the form and says, "Under 'purpose for distribution' I put 'thirsty.' I hope that's right." Dilbert writes on the form and says, "Request denied . . . You used an outdated form."
Sunday August 25,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #mystery, #movie, #surprised, #ending, #life, #tootsie, #hundred, #times, #strangers, #clearly
Transcript
Dilbert stands in line at a video store. The man in front of him hands a video tape to the sales clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk asks, "Why would anybody BUY a mystery movie?!" The clerk asks, "What do you do, watch it a hundred times and act surprised at the ending?" She hands the video back to the customer and says, "Get a life." Dilbert hands his selection to the clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk says, "Tootsie?! You want to OWN a movie about a man who wears dresses?!" Dilbert says, "What?! I thought it was a documentary about Tootsie Rolls. You should label those things more clearly!" Dilbert sits in his chair holding a copy of Rambo. He asks Dogbert, "Is it a sin to lie to strangers?" Dogbert replies, "The way you do it, yes."
Monday November 22,
1993
Tags #carol, #low-wall, #clerical, #style, #cubicle, #league, #degree, #copier, #secreatary, #crossbow
Transcript
Carol: I sit innocently in my low-wall clerical style cubicle. Man: One copy, no staple. Carol: Men with Ivy-league degrees walk past the copier and ask me to make copies. I am a secretary with a crossbow.
Wednesday November 24,
1993
Tags #ted, #carol, #message, #manager, #secretary, #copies, #sting, #desire
Transcript
Ted: May I slip in? I only need one copy. Carol: What's the message here? Is your time worth more than my time because you're a manager and I'm a secretary? Huh? This might sting for a second, but it'll remove your desire to make copies.