Search Results for "corporate jet"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #cash, #conflicts if interest, #corporate skin, #huge failures, #no red flags, #potential client, #track record

View Transcript

Transcript

A man with hair pointy like antennae approaches The Boss and says, "Hello, potential client. I'm a consultick." The consultick continues, "I'll burrow into your corporate skin, suck your cash and never leave." The consultick continues, "My firm has a track record of huge consulting failures and conflicts of interest!" The Boss thinks, "No red flags."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new corporate code, #report immediately, #señor management, #ship prodcuts, #defective, #take care, #lying, #report you

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "If you see anyone violating the new corporate code of ethics, report it immediately." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "I'd like to report our senior management for telling us to ship products that we know are defective." The Boss responds, "Yes, I will take care of that." Dilbert waves one hand, points his finger at The Boss with the other, and says, "Oooh! Oooh! Lying!!! I report you!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #corporate witch hunt, #products stink, #diving rod, #liar, #pormise, #honor of family, #holy

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Corporate Witch-Hunt. The Boss asks Alice, "Alice, did you tell a reporter that our producs stink?" Alice responds, "I promise on the honor of my family, and on all that is holy, that I did not." Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches from behind with a device in his hands. He says, "So I guess you're calling my divining rod a liar."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #minor success, #chance corporate ruination

View Transcript

Transcript

The project has a 70% chance of minor success and a 30% chance of corporate ruination. The Boss: I like those odds. when can we start. Dilbert: Start? I wish we had ten more projects like this one.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2005's comic on:


Tags #represent company, #corporate marathon, #run 26 miles, #designed special hat

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Wally, I want you to represent our company in the corporate marathon." "Um...I can't run 26 miles." "Yes, you can. I've designed a special hat to help you." "What the...?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #screen savers, #company logo, #corporate rule, #agenda, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: First on the agenda, we're standardizing all screen savers to be our company logo. Second, our CEO is having a contest to see who can suggest the most useless corporate rule to eliminate. Wally: I nominate the nee screen-saver rule. Boss: You can't nominate that one. It's too new. Dilbert: Why does that matter? Isn't it better to kill it before it gets implemented? Boss: It's too soon! It's just too soon! Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Fine. Wally: I nominate whatever is next on the agenda.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2013's comic on:


Tags #corporate yoga, #power poses, #realizing testosterone, #office, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What's this? Dilbert: It's corporate yoga. I'm using victory and power poses to trick my brain into releasing testosterone to make me more of a leader. Alice: I don't know what this is, but I want in.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #nuclear rocket, #engineers, #blast astroid, #collsion, #approved corporate font, #launch window, #moon

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our engineers built a nuclear rocket to blast an incoming asteroid out of its collision course with Earth. But we didn't use the approved corporate font on the nose cone and we missed the launch window trying to erase it. Now what are we going to do with a nuclear rocket? CEO: Well, the moon has always been a jerk.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #obliviousness, #rich people, #underling, #common interest, #gold coins, #jumbo jet, #super yacht

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Oh, great. I got here too early. Now I'll need to make small talk with this underling. I don't know what to say to these people. I need to find an area of common interest. I make my own gold coins now. This one has my face on the front and the jumbo jet that carries my superyacht on the back.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2008's comic on:


Tags #strategic alternatives, #company for sale, #new corporate overlords, #employment vandalism

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The company has decided to explore strategic alternatives." Dilbert says, "Is that another way to say the company is for sale and we'll all be fired by our new corporate overlords?" The Boss says, "What answer will spark the least employee vandalism?"