Count Comic Strips - Page 5

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50 Results for Count

View 41 - 50 results for count comic strips. Discover the best "Count" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #watch, #technology, #signal, #symbol, #time, #punctual, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #outdated, #change

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Alice: I used to enjoy pointing to my watch and mocking people for being late. But it isn't as fun as it used to be. Dilbert: Is your step count low again?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fitness, #competition, #step, #fitbit, #tracker, #technology, #competitive, #exercise, #walking, #Sports, #health

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Wally: According to my fitness tracker, I took 20,000 steps yesterday. Alice: What? That's double what I did. You won't win this! I will run to the ends of the earth to beat your step count! Dilbert: Do you really have a fitness tracker? Wally: No, it looks like a lot of work.

Bias For Action

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Bias For Action - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #action, #attention, #confusion, #listening, #strategy

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Boss: We need a bias for action. Dilbert: Does listening count? Boss: That's not action. Dilbert: So... you don't want me to listen to you? Boss: I didn't think this all the way through. Dilbert: Tap me on the shoulder when you're done.

Tina Wants A Work Husband

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Tina Wants A Work Husband - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marriage, #Women, #nagging, #wife, #wives, #criticism, #yelling, #relationships

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Tina: I'm in the market for a "work husband." Do you have a "work wife" yet? Dilbert: I'm not sure. Alice criticized me a lot. Does that count? Tina: That's all I wanted to do, too. Dilbert: Okay, but don't let Alice find out.

Wally's Cousin Ronnie Dies

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Wally's Cousin Ronnie Dies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #hr, #funeral, #time off, #bereavement, #business

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Wally: I need to take some bereavement time, with pay, because my cousin Ronnie died. Catbert: Cousins don't count unless you married one. Wally: We were domestic partners. What's the police on that, you bigot?

Not Knowing The Difference Monday

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Not Knowing The Difference Monday - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #explanation, #details, #honesty

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Dilbert: Do you want the detailed analysis you won't understand... or the executive summary that is dangerously misleading? Boss: I want an executive summary that is not misleading. Dilbert: I'll count on you not knowing the difference.

Boss Counts Cards

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Boss Counts Cards  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gambling, #gambler, #card counting, #blackjack, #poker, #cards

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Boss: I've decided to become a professional gambler on the side. Dilbert: Sounds risky. Boss: Nah. I'm teaching myself to count cards. 50...51...51...53! Nailed it again!

Complaints About Wally

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Complaints About Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #productivity

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the boss: wally, i received 43 complaints that you have been clipping your toenails in the office. the boss: you have single-handedly destroyed all productivity on the floor. wally: in my defense, it takes two hands if you count the one holding the toe.

The New Consultant

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The New Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #success

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the new consultant: i'll need the support of every department to make this project a success. boss: i won't get any credit if your project succeeds, and you'll be gone in a month. consultant: can i count on you to not sabotage the project? boss: you're coming off as needy.

Dilbert Is Sexist

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 Dilbert Is Sexist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #fire, #crazy, #gender, #true, #false, #anger, #face mask

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tina: i want you to fire dilbert because he said i might be nuts. he wouldn't say that to a man. boss: he said the same thing to me last week. tina yelling: it doesn't count if it's true!