Cover Sand Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for cover sand comic strips. Discover the best "Cover Sand" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fresh cauliflower, #sleep, #operation oiwrked, #reminds me, #anesthesia, #health

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"First I'll saw open your head. Then I'll replace your faulty brain with a fresh cauliflower." "How do I know you won't put me to sleep, eat the cauliflower and claim the operation worked?" "That reminds me: your insurance doesn't cover anesthesia."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert's Retirement Planning Seminar "I'll show you how to spend your golden years on the golf course." "Get a job caddying for people who have better jobs than you." "Never pay rent again, thanks to the patented Dogbert breathing tube for sand traps!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Mister Serdecisions." "Call me Lou." "Can you cover for me tomorrow while I put shelf paper in my kitchen cabinets?" "Tomorrow is our project kickoff meeting." "Good lord, man! I can't put dishes on wood?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Per your suggestion, I asked our customer to voluntarily pay us more money to cover our bidding error." "It might surprise you to learn that our customer doesn't like that idea." "You probably made it sound like a bad thing."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonian, #factory, #million dollars, #competition, #office, #rebel attack

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Dilbert: Rebels have threatened to attack our Elbonian factory unless we give them a million dollars. The Boss: "That's outrageous! Tell them their competition offered to not attack us for half that price." Negotiations begin Elbonian: "That wouldn't even cover our costs of not attacking!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #disgruntled robot, #warranty, #water damage, #mechanical failure, #under warranty

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Dilbert: Your leadership made our robot disgruntled. Dilbert: His warranty only covers water damage and mechanical failure. It doesn't cover bad management. The Boss: I don't feel good about this, but its the only way to get you replaced under warranty.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #water damage, #hose, #spary, #military planes, #flying, #window, #personally, #hurt feelings

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The boss: Your warranty doesn't cover a bad attitude, but it does cover water damage. Dont take this personally, I just need to slowly kill you with a forceful jet of water. SLOOSH! Dilbert: Why is the sky full of military drones? The boss: How took it personally.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project not sexy, #transferring fnding, #arouses boss, #business school, #not covered

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The Boss says, "Your project is not sexy." The Boss says, "I'm transferring all of your funding to a project that totally arouses me." The Boss says, "That's something they don't cover in business school."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nose job, #health insurance, #surgery, #cloth over nose, #good deal, #veterinarian, #dog nose, #squirrel, #medical

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Asok says, "Our health plan doesn't cover nose jobs, so I used the market system to bargain for a good deal." Asok says, "I learned that a veterinarian is just like a doctor, but cheaper." Asok says, "Do you smell a squirrel?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #warranty plan, #design, #hell, #hot, #tongs, #wide eyes, #evil, #insurance, #animals

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The Boss says, "I hired a confusopoly consultant to help us design an extended warranty plan." Dogbert says, "Our goal is to scare people into buying insurance that doesn't cover anything." Dogbert says, "I can't tell you where the contract was designed, but be careful because it's still hot."