Search Results for "coworkers"
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Character
Saturday March 15,
2008
Tags #asked question, #contempt, #coworkers, #forgot answer, #game plyer, #large group, #paranoid, #suspicious
Transcript
Tina: Dilbert asked me a question in front of the entire group that I already answered last week. What kind of game is he playing?" Alice: Maybe he forgot your answer. Tina: That's crazy talk."
Tuesday March 18,
2008
Tags #pessimistic co workers, #crushed soul, #meat clothes, #rain soul, #less fortunate, #volunteering
Transcript
Dilbert: My pessimistic coworkers have crushed my soul. Now I am nothing but meat with clothes. Garbageman: You can regain your soul by volunteering to help the less fortunate. Dilbert: Who is less fortunate than me? Garbageman: Anyone you date."
Wednesday March 19,
2008
Tags #breaks down, #cries, #date, #endless stories, #huge defects, #restaurant, #series of stoires, #soul crushed
Transcript
Dilbert: I look different from my online picture because it was taken before my coworkers crushed my soul. Would you like to hear an endless series of stories about a coworker you don't know?" Date: okay. Dilbert: Really? Gee, you must have some huge defects of your own. Date: I don't deserve to be happy!
Saturday May 17,
2008
Tags #admits assignment, #career, #dinner party, #small talk, #woman asks, #total losers, #blame, #coworkers
Transcript
woman: Before I get too invested in this conversation, tell me what you do for a living. Dilbert: I'm one of three people my boss asked to do the same assignment because he deems all of us unreliable. woman: This is why I ask. Dilbert: The other two people are total losers.
Monday June 02,
2008
Tags #bleed people, #living and dead, #awkward
Transcript
The Boss: Wally, in the past month you've blamed your lack of productivity on seven dead people and three who never existed." Wally: I used to blame living coworkers but it made the meetings awkward. The Boss: Whose fault is that? Wally: Here comes the awkward part.
Saturday August 07,
2010
Tags #presentation, #meeting, #the end, #apathy, #hate, #questions, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "That's my plan. I'd like to thank all of you for your utter apathy." Dilbert says, "A few of your stayed awake, and I think I got some accidental eye contact once when the A.C. made a noise." Dilbert says, "In conclusion, I hate my job, I hate my coworkers, and I hope feral cats eat every one of you." Coworker says, "Are you taking questions?"
Monday April 06,
2009
Tags #downsizing, #layoffs, #firing, #cheering, #celebrating, #happy
Transcript
The boss says, "I had to lay off many of your coworkers today, but your jobs are safe." Dilbert says, "Yes!" Wally says, "Wahoo!" Alice says, "ha ha ha!" Asok says, "Ha Ha Ha!" The boss says, "Cancel the workshop on survivor guilt."
Wednesday April 08,
2009
Tags #office, #poster, #cheap, #cruel, #mena, #cannibalism, #reading
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO The boss says, "The new motivational posers are in." the boss says, "As you requested, I bought the least expensive ones." Dogbert says, "Excuse me while I stretch my wagger." If all else fails?your coworkers are edible
Friday July 24,
2009
Tags #coworker, #thinking, #sitting, #computer, #depressed, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert thinks, "As usual, my coworkers have filled in every space on my outlook calendar." Dilbert says, "Now I am only a puppet hurdling toward failure." Man says, "Hey there, dailure puppet!" Dilbert thinks, "I hoped it wasn't so obvious."
Monday September 07,
2009
Tags #new employee, #introduction, #greeting, #Advice, #scared, #regretting, #ridiculous
Transcript
The Boss says, "Welcome to your first day on the job." The boss says, "Always lock your desk at night because many of your coworkers are crooks." The boss says, "And the ones that have eyes like this got hired before we did drug testing."