Cruel To Fire Friday Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

293 Results for Cruel To Fire Friday

View 41 - 50 results for cruel to fire friday comic strips. Discover the best "Cruel To Fire Friday" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp stalks alice, #bouquet, #pencils, #fire secreatry, #vp, #no flowers

View Transcript

Transcript

VP Stalks Alice VP: I brought you a bouquet, Alice. Alice: Thats a bunch of pencils, not a flower bouquet. VP: Really? May I use your phone? I need to fire my secretary.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #house on fire, #servant, #killing spiders, #wounded flies, #work at home person says, #what family hears

View Transcript

Transcript

(What the work-at-home person says.) Dilbert says to Dogbert and Catbert, "Don't disturb me unless the house is on fire." (What the rest of the family hears.) Dilbert continues, "I am your servant. My speciality is killing spiders." (What the spiders hear.) Dilbert says, "The house is full of wounded flies."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #red white shirt, #spilled, #Women, #party, #drink in face, #salt, #lighter fluid, #set on fire, #burned, #not happy, #not popular

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at a cocktail party. A woman says, "You spilled red wine on your shirt." The woman says, "You should dilute it with white wine." A woman throws a glass of wine in Dilberts face and says, "You'll thank me for this later." The woman says, "I think that helped." Another woman approaches. Woman 2 says, "You need salt to absorb it." Woman 2 throws a drink in Dilbert's face and says, "Try my margarita." Women 1 says, "Salt didn't work. Let's try pepper spray." Woman 2 says, "Perhaps lighter fluid..." Woman one sprays pepper spray and says, "No harm in trying." Woman 2 says, "I have one more idea." Dilbert walks into his living room with his shirt burned. dilbert says, "Just once, I'd like to got to a party and not be set on fire." Dogbert says, "There is a stain on your rug."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ad agency, #stick man, #fire, #gets eaten, #exact science

View Transcript

Transcript

THE AD AGENCY: Pete Peters of the Creative Team holds up a picture of a stick figure and says, "The stick man runs through a tire fire and gets eaten by a giant wolverine." Sitting between Wally and Dilbert at the table, The Boss asks, "Will that make people like us?" Pete Peters says, "It's not an exact science."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #billion shares, #dot com subsidary, #fire everyone, #presdient, #raise, #stock, #promoting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to president of our dot-com subsidiary." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Your job is to fire everyone." Dilbert asks, "Would I get a raise?" The Boss answers, "How does a billion shares of stock sound?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor of layoffs, #nope, #friday, #monday, #day off, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted approaches the Boss' desk and asks, "I heard a rumor that there might be layoffs on Friday. Is it true?" The Boss shakes his head and signals with his arms. He says, "Absolutely not. No way. Nope. Negatory. No, no, no, no, no." Ted says, "Great. Can I take off Friday?" The Boss looks away guiltily and says, "Monday would be better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #growing into job, #accelerated evolution, #progarm, #million years, #two day classes, #lose fire, #opposable thimbs

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk with his hands crossed. He says, "Monty. You're not growing into your job as quickly as I hoped." Monty, a monkey in a suit, stands opposite from The Boss, looking grim. The Boss' voice continues, "So I signed you up for an accelerated evolution program. They pack a million years into a two-day class." Dogbert stands in front of a blackboard atop a stool and yells to Monty and the monkey behind him as they enter the classroom. He says authoritatively, "Hurry up! We've already lost the opposable thumbs module; let's not lose fire too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #enjoyment, #fire you, #free country, #free speech, #outside of work, #pastry, #criticize government

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok, The Boss, and Wally are eating donuts and drinking coffee. Asok says, "The great thing about free speech is that I can criticize the government." The Boss replies, "I'd fire you." Asok says, "I mean outside of work." The Boss responds, "I'd fire you for that too." Asok asks, "May I express enjoyment of my pastry?" The Boss replies, "Sure. It's a free country."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paper weight, #mission statement, #sun, #fire, #cubicle fire, #mug, #water, #shards

View Transcript

Transcript

A disheveled coworker with smoke effusing from his head says to Dilbert and Wally, "Sorry I'm late." The coworker continues, "I left my mission statement paperweight in the sun and it set my cubicle on fire." The coworker continues, "I tried to douse it using my "We are Quality" mug but the handle broke and I got shards."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #numbers down, #reorganize dept, #history for compariosn, #fire people, #save money

View Transcript

Transcript

A female employee asks The Boss, "Our numbers are way down. What should we do?" The Boss replies, "Reorganize the department so there's no valid history for comparison." The Boss continues, "Then we'll fire a few people and give ourselves awards for saving money." The employee scrunches up her paper and mutters, "El Diablo."