Cultural Fit Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for cultural fit comic strips. Discover the best "Cultural Fit" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #proactive, #boring meeting, #fake death, #coffee is posioned, #stiffen, #easier to drag, #pose, #obscene, #spread eagle, #casket, #dispose of body, #Wally

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Wally sits in a metting between Dilbert and Alice. Wally thinks, "I'll have to be proactive to escape this boring meeting." Wally takes a sip from his coffee and thinks, "I'll fake my own death and hope someone drags me into the hallway." Wally says, "Ack!! My coffee is poisoned!" Wally lies on the ground feet in the air. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should drag him into the hallway." Alice says, "No." Alice says, "Let's wait for him to stiffen. Then he'll be easier to drag." Ted says, "We should pose him before he stiffens." Dilbert says, "Something obscene?" Alice says, "Or spread eagle, so he won't fit in a casket." Wally lies on the grouns arms and legs wide with his coffe cup pearched on his face and thinks, "It never pays to be the proactive one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failed ceo, #worth 100 million, #all reverse, #head in glass, #successful engineer, #kind of funny

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RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #overall startegy, #never ask questiom, #hear the answer

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How does my project fit into our company's overall strategy? "Beats me. I didn't even know we had a strategy." "Never ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer." "That's why I never say 'How are you?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #project plan, #won't work, #problem solver

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Your engineers think my project plan won't work. "I'll assign Wally to your project. He's a perfect fit." "Because he's a problem solver?" "Because he won't work either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Can you bring me up to speed before we go to the meeting? "No. You can't fit two gallons in a thimble no matter how fast you pour." "Wait a minute...Which one of us is the thimble?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I've been trying for six months to solve this engineering problem. It might be impossible. "Just turn it sideways and it will fit perfectly." "Okay...Now I have to kill you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new dress code, #consolidating, #offcies, #20 people cubicle, #impossible, #thin film pil, #no clothes, #bad conditions, #worst place work, #awards, #demoralize, #inhumane, #horrid conditions

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Catbert: The new dress code is a thin film of oil. "We're consolidating offices and we need to fit twenty people in each cubicle." Dilbert: "They've pretty much given up on winning one of those awards for best places to work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analyzed dna, #most qualified applicant, #willing to work, #has three ears, #snout, #life expectancy of thursday, #new guy

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Dogbert: I analyzed the DNA of all of your applicants to find the best fit for the job. The most qualified applicant who is willing to work for you has three ears, a snout, and a life expectancy of Thursday." The Boss: Dilbert, meet the new guy. And do it quickly." cough cough

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #tailored style, #each employee, #pool cue, #leadership is guessing, #business

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Boss: A good manager tailors his leadership style to fit each employee. In your case, I think the best approach involves poling you with a sharpened pool cue. To be perfectly honest, a big part of leadership is guessing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power point slide, #white space, #one page, #one bullet point, #long one, #meeting, #presentation, #business

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Wally says, "As requested, I fit my presentation on one PowerPoint slide." Wally says, "I had to use all of the white space, but I think it was worth it to fit everything on one page." Wally says, "It's actually only one bullet point, but it's a long one."