Customers Realize Comic Strips - Page 5
234 Results for Customers Realize
View 41 - 50 results for customers realize comic strips. Discover the best "Customers Realize" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 09, 2003's comic on:
The Boss says in a meeting, "We have the highest profilt margin in our entire industy!" Alice leans over and whispers something to The Boss. The Boss says, "Apparently I'm not supposed to say that in front of customers."
Share December 12, 2003's comic on:
Product Training. Man: You work for a company that takes pride in its product line. Only half of our users experience painful boils. We call that group the "relatively satisfied customers. what the?!
Share January 27, 2004's comic on:
Asok: "Wally, I discovered a deadly safety flaw in our product. Who should I inform?" Wally: "No one. The stock would plunge and we'd have massive layoffs. Your career would be ruined." Asok: "But my negligence could cause the deaths of a dozen customers." Wally: "The first dozen is always the hardest."
Share February 05, 2004's comic on:
"Dogberts Consults." Dogbert: "Never listen to your customers." "They were dumb enough to buy your product, so they have no credibility." "That reminds me: thanks for buying my services. Don't talk. Shhh." The boss: "Ooh."
Share October 15, 2004's comic on:
The Boss: "Our new vice president of ethics will help you decide what's right and wrong." Wally: "When we talk to him, what customer's project should we charge for our time?" The Boss: "Whichever one we hate the most."
Share December 21, 2004's comic on:
Try to get through this meeting without teling our customers how stupid you think they're being. "I'll try." "But sometimes the pressure builds up in my head and it's unbearable." "Tough it out." "Is he okay? "He's fine. Ignore him."
Share May 09, 1999's comic on:
Tags #few upgrades to design, #realize engineer, #graduate of liberal arts, #college, #broad exposure, #modern renaissance, #timing circuit, #moby dick, #charles dickens, #engineering classes, #poor engineers, #work is small, #education
The Boss hands Alice a piece of paper. He says, "I made a few upgrades to your design, Alice." Alice turns and says, "Do you realize you're not an engineer?" The Boss replies, "I'm better! I'm a well-rounded graduate of a liberal arts college." The Boss continues, "The broad exposure to diverse topics made me what I am today." The Boss says, "A modern renaissance man." Alice says, "You scribbled out my timing circuit and wrote in 'Moby Dick by Charles Dickens.'" The Boss says, "Exactly! I'll bet you didn't learn THAT in your engineering classes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "Poor engineers; there world is so small."
Share August 09, 2012's comic on:
Wally: I worked every night for a month to come up with a detailed quote for one of our potential customers. Then those weasels used our quote to get a better price from their regular vendor! Dilbert: Did you really do all of that work? Wally: No, but it nets out the same.
Share August 25, 2012's comic on:
Dogbert consults Dogbert: Your fake 50% sale prices make dumb customers feel like smart shoppers. CEO: Why am I paying you $400 an hour to tell me what I already know? Dogbert: Usually I charge $800 and hour. CEO: Yes! I'm a freakin' genius.
Share January 10, 2013's comic on:
Dogbert: Research shows that your best customers are creepy bearded guys. That same group also buys a high volume of potato chips and tissues. Boss: How's that help us? Dogbert: Two words: Combo Pack.