Data Center Comic Strips - Page 5
200 Results for Data Center
View 41 - 50 results for data center comic strips. Discover the best "Data Center" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 03, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert talks on the phone at a computer. Dogbert says, "If you upgrade your software, all of your data will be lost." Dogbert says, "But if you don't upgrade, the old software will corrupt your data one bit at a time." Dogbert says, "And if you try to back up your data, our software will hunt you down and bit-slap you until you delete it yourself."
Share August 28, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert pionts at an overhead projection and says, "Then if you.." A man interrupts and says, "...analyze the data." Dilbert thinks, "It's a hostile takeover of my presentation!" The man steps in front of Dilbert and says, "... you'll see a pattern." Dilbert sits on the couch at home in his robe eating ice cream. Dogbert says, "And you let him do it?" Dilbert says, "He had a laser ponter the size of your head."
Share December 22, 1999's comic on:
Wally is sitting at his computer and the boss who is sitting behind him says: "Wally, don't do anything until we get the market research data." The boss walks away. Wally thinks: "No longer must I put my hand on the mouse when I hear footsteps. Yes!!"
Share November 01, 1999's comic on:
The Boss: Your project is to build a call center to handle customer questions. Keep the costs downy making the working conditions inhumane. Dilbert: My conscience won't allow me to harm innocent employees. The Boss: we won't be paying enough ti hire any innocent employees.
Share November 02, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert: Ive been ordered to build a company call center with inhumane working conditions for the employees. ut I don't feel guilty because Im only acting under orders and maybe they did something to deserve it. I might need your help to demonize them. Dogbert: Im all over it.
Share November 03, 1999's comic on:
Designing a Call Center Catbert: Give the employees six minutes of bathroom breaks per shift. The Boss: Tiny cubicles and we'll monitor calls and have incompatible objectives such as speed and customer service. = Wally: Hows the project going? Dilbert: Im still collecting the abuser requirements.
Share November 05, 1999's comic on:
The Boss: So, mister rather, why should I hire you to work in my call center? Ratbert: I thrive on the challenge of inhumane working conditions. Watch me go without a rest room break for four hours, The Boss: You're hired.
Share January 03, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert Consults: The boss is sitting at his desk and Dogbert is on top of his desk. Dogbert says to the boss: "You need to do data mining to uncover hidden sales trends." Dogbert says: "If you mine the data hard enough, you can also find messages from God." The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, on the table Dogbert has sheets of paper and shows them to the boss there is also a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "...sales to lefthanded squirrels are up...and God says your tie doesn't go with that shirt."
Share January 04, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert consults: The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is typing on a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "My data-mining software has found another message from God." Dogbert says to the boss: "It says you've been stealing lunches from the refrigerator in the break room." The boss looks surprised and scared. Dogbert says to the boss: "Then it says, "Ha ha, that wasn't pudding!"" The boss covers his mouth with both hands.
Share January 05, 2000's comic on:
The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is wearing a mining hard hat. The boss says: "Our consultant has been mining all day." Dogbert says: "The results are quite shocking." The boss is sitting between Dilbert and Dogbert, he is reading a sheet of paper. The boss says: "According to the data, sales are always highest when I do this..." The boss pulls the side of his mouth with one hand and pulls his nose up with the other, Dilbert and Dogbert look at him.