Death Comic Strips - Page 5

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227 Results for Death

View 41 - 50 results for death comic strips. Discover the best "Death" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #address envelope, #death penalty, #helpless, #master plan, #one way trip, #solve small problems, #speaking engilsh, #training, #south korea

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The Boss holds a letter and says, "Carol, how do I address an envelope?" Carol, his secretary, sings, "I'll do it." Carol explains to Dilbert, "I'm training him to be helpless." She says, "It's part of my master plan to eliminate him." Carol says, "I do everything for him. Soon he'll lose his ability to solve small problems alone." She says, "Then I'll 'accidentally' book him on a one-way trip to South Korea." Carol says, "Before he goes, I'll tell him they have a death penelty for speaking English." Carol laughs a maniacal laugh and says, "We'll never see him again. Buwahaha!" Dilbert walks off and says, "It's worth a shot." The Boss calls from his office and says, "Carol, how do I dial for an outside line?" Carol says, "I'll do it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #revenue figures, #no revenue, #upgradimg, #project revenues, #spread hseet, #fist of death

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The Boss stands at Alice's desk. The Boss says, "When you show this to our VP. Put in some revenue figures." Alice says, "There's no revenue. All we're doing is upgrading our network." The Boss says, "I might have told him the project has revenues." Alice grits her teeth. The Boss says, "Lets not confuse him by changing the story now." Alice covers her eyes. Alice screams, "Yi-yi-yi." Alice says, "O-o-o-okay. How much revenue do you want? A million dollars?" The Boss says, "I might have told him it was more." Alice screams, "Just tell me what lie to use!!!" The Boss says, "Can't you calculate it on the spreadsheet?" Alice's fists clench, Alice's eyes bulge. Alice thinks, "Must control....fist..of...death..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1999's comic on:


Tags #unprofessional, #thirty minutes, #six minutes, #too professional, #death to those who eat

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The boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice are in a meeting. The Boss says, "Anyone who takes more than thirty minutes for lunch is unprofessional." Wally says, "That's still too long! I say your unprofessional after six minutes!" The boss says, "That's a little too professional, Wally." Wally says, "Death to those who eat!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #people fear public speaking, #fear death, #kill a guy, #scheduled to speak, #sleep, #threats, #dogcart threatens dilbert, #hints at death, #health

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the breakfast table. Dilbert has his lap top in front of him. Dogbert says, "They say people fear public speaking more than they fear death." Dogbert says, "So technically, if you kill a guy who's scheduled to speak, you're doing him a favor." Dogbert says, "When are you going to sleep." Dilbert says, "Never."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #pick up phone, #calling and calling, #fist of death, #gnawed, #wall to escape

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Alice stands behind Asok who sits at his computer. Alice says, "Asok, I've been calling and calling, but you don't pick up your phone." Alice pushes up her sleeve and says, "I'd like you to meet a little something I call the "fist of death." Wally and Dilbert look at a tattered hole in a cubicle wall. Wally says, "It looks like he gnawed through the wall to escape."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #story ever end, #purchase silence, #fist of death, #two warning system

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Ted, Alice and Wally sit in a meeting. Ted says, "But then I.." Alice taps Ted on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me." Alice says, "Does your story EVER end? Or must I purchase your silence with my fist of death?" Alice walks out of the meeting with Ted's still stuck to her arm. Alice says, "I might have to go to a two-warning system."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #assertive men, #woman, #b word, #boxer, #bitch, #fist of death, #fist in face

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Alice has a man stuck on her hand post fist of death. The boss says, "Alilce, it's okay for men to be assertive, but when a woman acts that way..." The boss says, "Well, it's the "b" word." Alice says, "Boxer?" The boss says, "O-o-okay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #company saidst, #fist of death, #note from author, #big bag, #dumpster, #disclaimer, #nothing bad happened

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Extremely angry, Alice approaches the sadist who sits at his computer. She rolls up her sleeves and says, "Okay,sadist, it's time to meet the fist of death. A note from the author forewarns his readers that nothing bad or violent happens to the sadist. The author's note reads: If you are the sort of person who is influenced by comic strips, I assure you nothing bad or violent happens next. Alice and the sadist discuss their differences and become lifelong friends. As Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit together eating lunch, Dilbert asks Alice "What was in that big bag I helped you drag to the dumpster?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #mahage, #sadistic game show host, #insane, #didn't work, #rather have performance, #pecked to death, #trained birds

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The Boss says to Alice, "I've decided to manage like a sadistic game show host." The Boss continues, "Because it would be insane if I kept doing what didn't work." The Boss asks Alice, "Would you rather have a performance review or be pecked to death by trained birds?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2000's comic on:


Tags #30 day dance of death, #new job within, #spray paint

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Catbert, standing on a table, says to Ted, "Ted, your thirty-day dance of death begins today." Shaking a bottle of spray-paint, Catbert says, "You must find a new job within the company during that time." As Catbert spray-paints the letter 'L' on Ted's chest, Ted says, "Is the spray-paint absolutely necessary?" Catbert says, "That's an 'L'."