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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Ratbert sits on the hassock. Ratbert says, "I'm testing a growth formula at the lab." Dilbert replies, "I'm so happy. I've often thought that the only thing better than a rat in the house is a GIANT rat in the house." Ratbert says, "Yesterday I would have been miffed at your sarcasm. But that wouldn't be 'big' of me." Dilbert says, "Better yet, a giant, WITTY rat."
Wally: "I say it's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission." TED : "I say it's better to seek permission, thus delaying your personal risk until it all becomes moot in the next reorganization." Wally: "That makes mine sound kinda stupid." TED: "Get over it."
Dilbert sits at his computer. Liz says to Dilbert, "I think you like that computer more than you like me." Dilbert responds, "That's not true, Liz. I do NOT like that computer more than I like you." Dilbert thinks to himself, "Please, please don't ask about the laptop." Liz asks, "'That' computer?"
Dilbert stands outside his lab. He tells Dogbert, "Well, Dogbert, I believe I have solved the world's garbage problem." Dogbert says, "I didn't know garbage had any problems." Dilbert and Dogbert walk down the stairs to the lab. Dilbert says, "I've invented the most efficient trash compactor ever." Dilbert kneels in front of a device and says, "This baby can squash two tons of garbage into a little brick!" Dogbert says, "No doubt you've considered the valuable uses for the brick itself." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Right . . . For home construction?" Dogbert says, "Or just as an immovable object that smells like Sylvester Stallone's socks."
Dilbert sits in his cubicle thinking, "The cubicle warrior prepares for battle." Dilbert thinks, "Fighting, fighting against the overwhelming boredom!" Dilbert arrives at home and tells Dogbert, "When my grandchildren ask me what I did for a living, I'm going to lie." Dogbert sits on the couch armrest and replies, "I usually tell people you're a bobo."
Dilbert sits at a table with a man. Dilbert says, "We like to ask our applicants some questions that will allow us to see how you think." Dilbert asks, "If you have a five-gallon bucket and a fifty-gallon bucket, how can you tell which one holds more water?" The man beats his head with his fists and says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Dilbert says, "When I said, 'See how you think,' what I meant was . . ."
Alice sits across from Catbert's desk. She says, "I was so good at my job that I never needed to bother my boss, but he gave me a low rating because he didn't see me struggling." Catbert replies, "I must refer to my human resources binders to see how to deal with this." Catbert looks at a bookcase filled with binders. Most of the binders are labeled "Downsize" and a few are labeled "Hire Losers."
Dilbert tells the Boss, "My raise didn't go through because your secretary didn't do the paperwork." Dilbert continues, "I demand that you initiate disciplinary actions against her!" The Boss says, "I'll try, but . . ." The Boss stands behind Carol's desk and asks, "Carol, could you get me one of those disciplinary action forms?" Carol replies, "Sure, right after my ski trip to hell."
The Boss sists at a conference table with Wally and Dilbert. He waves a pice of paer and says, "Ten of our finest executives got together and created a statement of our core values." The Boss quotes from the document, "We help the community and the world by producing state-of-the-art business solutions." Wally responds, "I'm glad we didn't skimp and try to do that with only nine executives." Dilbert adds, "Yeah. It might have sucked."
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "I didn't use my brain this week." Wally says, "I listened to things I already knew; I waited for people who were late; I was a passenger in my car pool." The Boss says, "Let's start the staff meeting." Wally pumps his fist in the air and says, "Yes!! Keeping the streak alive!"