Didn't Open Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

757 Results for Didn't Open

View 41 - 50 results for didn't open comic strips. Discover the best "Didn't Open" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dilbert died, #funeral, #casket, #running with sciccors, #what does mean, #pastor, #newspapaer slots open, #money, #ka ching

View Transcript

Transcript

WHos Todays Guest Cartoonist? ...when I first heard Dilbert had died while running with scissors,I , too was stunned.I too, asked "whats it all mean?" That 2, 247 newspaper slots are now wiiiiide open , baby! ...ka-ching! ka-Ching! ...sorry about the ka -things. *answer: go to Dilbert.com

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #cubicles, #open plan, #special class, #transition, #invisible walls, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CAtbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: cubicles are too expensive. we're moving to an open plan, You'll attend a special classy to ease your transition. Wally: its like he's in a cubicle with invisible walls!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blinding flashes, #sightless, #didn't drive car, #can't do that

View Transcript

Transcript

Your blinding flashes of the obvius made me sightless for three days. "I hope you didn't drive your car. You're not supoosed to do that when you're blind." "GAAA!!!" "I'm upsetting you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #open art gallery, #full bar, #putrid art, #specialize, #synergy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I plan to open an art gallery with a full bar. "I'll specialize in putrid art that's unreasonably priced." "Synergy" "Thash so bee-oo-tiful!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #share cubicle, #date you, #incredible time together, #if it didn't work

View Transcript

Transcript

"It's too bad that we share a cubicle. Otherwise I'd date you." "If it didn't work out, we'd have to see each other every day." "...Always reminded of our incredible time together." "Where's the bad?!! Where's the bad?!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good news, #Promotion, #you didn't get it, #misogyny, #screams

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I have good news about the promotion you wanted: You didn't get it! Alice: "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY CALL THAT GOOD NEWS?" The boss: "They don't like positivity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wites to website, #eating toast, #file open, #stupidest question

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert writes a F.A.Q. for the company web site "Question 8: Why won't my file open when I'm eating toast?" "Answer 8: That is the stupidest question ever! Do not have children!" "I sure hope someone asks that question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #totally correct, #time under budget, #give up features, #shoebox falloff yarn, #yarn is free, #open door policy, #serious threat, #new design

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert pokes his head into the boss's office and says: "You were totally correct." Dilbert says to the boss: "We can develop the product on time and under budget." Dilbert says to the boss: "All we have to do is give up some features." Dilbert says to the boss: "For example, the original design called for a scalable wide area network switch..." Dilbert says to the boss while extending his arms: "...with multiprotocol support and full network diagnostics." Dilbert shows a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "The new design calls for a shoebox full of yarn." The boss is looking at the sheet of paper while Dilbert says to him: "So we're in good shape...assuming yarn is free." The boss says to Dilbert: "You're a serious threat to my open door policy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office buildings, #cubicle workplace, #open floor plan, #research, #pattern, #randomize evil, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're thinking of moving from a cubicle workplace to an open floor plan. Dilbert: Is that because you did some research that discovered that the open floor plan is the only thing worse than what we have now? Boss: They figured out the pattern. Catbert: I told you we should randomize our evil!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discussion, #frustration, #deliverable deadline, #proactive, #opposite of proactive, #empowered employees, #bad morale, #big bungler, #open door policy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I decided to be proactive and push back my deliverable deadline by a year. Boss: That' snot being proactive. That's the opposite of proactive! Wally: You said you want employees to be empowered and now you're criticizing my decision. That's just great. Now my morale is bad, too! I can't be proactive. I can't be empowered. And now I can't even be happy! You've bungled everything! You're a big bungler! Boss: Get out of my office. Wally: Well, say goodbye to the open-door policy!