Dogcart Deferred Earnings Comic Strips - Page 5
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Share December 29, 1999's comic on:
The boss and others are listening to Dogbert who plays the role of a teacher in front of a classroom. Dogbert says: "Welcome to the Dogbert one-hour executive MBA course." Dogbert says while wagging it's tail: "Notice that I took your money and I'm giving you almost nothing in return." Dogbert says: "That was a case study." "We have time for one more."
Share January 03, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert Consults: The boss is sitting at his desk and Dogbert is on top of his desk. Dogbert says to the boss: "You need to do data mining to uncover hidden sales trends." Dogbert says: "If you mine the data hard enough, you can also find messages from God." The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, on the table Dogbert has sheets of paper and shows them to the boss there is also a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "...sales to lefthanded squirrels are up...and God says your tie doesn't go with that shirt."
Share January 04, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert consults: The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is typing on a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "My data-mining software has found another message from God." Dogbert says to the boss: "It says you've been stealing lunches from the refrigerator in the break room." The boss looks surprised and scared. Dogbert says to the boss: "Then it says, "Ha ha, that wasn't pudding!"" The boss covers his mouth with both hands.
Share January 19, 2000's comic on:
Tina and Dogbert are sitting in a meeting. Tina is looking at a sheet of paper and she says to Dogbert: "Wow! The Dogbert investment fund has higher fees that any other!" Dogbert answers: "It's true!" Dogbert says to Tina: "That's how you can tell it's the best fund." Tina says: "I'm in." Tina is signing a check and asks: "Are you diversified?" Dogbert answers: "Yes, I have suckers of all types."
Share January 20, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert investments: Dogbert and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Dogbert says to the boss: "For a 1% annual fee I will invest your money with a certified financial planner." Dogbert says: "He'll charge 1% per year to put your money in mutual funds that charge 1% per year." The boss asks: "Will I make any money?" Dogbert answers: " I don't see you doing any of the work."
Share February 25, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert and Dilbert are on the couch, relaxing at home. Dogbert says: "I'm planning to give worthless awards to famous people." Dogbert continues: "If enough celebrities come to the award ceremony, it will become prestigious." Hair flying in the wind, a celebrity in his convertible speaks into his cell-phone: "I've never heard of the Dogbert Gullibility Award, but it's an honor to be nominated."
Share May 13, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert consults the Boss. Dogbert says, "My team can build an e-commerce site for you." Dogbert continues, "It will be so well-documented that your I.S. group can easily maintain it." The Boss gathers his employees as he explains, "But the coolest part is that the documentation will be delivered by flying pigs."
Share September 26, 2000's comic on:
The caption reads: "Dogbert consults." Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "You can revive the entrepreneurial spirit here by reminding people of the early years." Dogbert points to a picture of two homeless people. He says, "Your founders were two men who began in a cardboard box." Dogbert stands in front of the room of employees and says, "One bum midialed his bookie and accidently bought Cisco stock at the IPO."
Share September 19, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Dogbert Consults. Dogbert says to The Boss, "It's easy to create a strategy." Dogbert continues, "Write down everything you do, preceded by the phrase, 'increase our market share by...'" The Boss asks, "What if we change what we do?" Dogbert responds, "Call me and I'll sell you some more valuable advice."
Share November 27, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Dogbert Airlines. A disheveled customer says to Dogbert, "I've been waiting for 35 hours. Are you sure my flight exists?" Dogbert responds, "According to my computer your flight is delayed by weather." The customer asks, "What kind of weather?" Dogbert responds, "Our planes can't handle direct sunlight."