Dogs With Tumors Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for dogs with tumors comic strips. Discover the best "Dogs With Tumors" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consulting comapny, #lead project, #bright enough, #bad attitudes, #no apparent reason, #introduce ourselves, #chummy with locals

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The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' to lead the project because none of you is bright enough." Dilbert looks angry. The Boss continues, "And you all have bad attitudes for no apparent reason; that's no way to be a leader." Wally asks, "Shall we go around the table and introduce ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "I don't get chummy with the locals."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1996's comic on:


Tags #shirts, #has either stain, #or missing button, #engineers, #not concerned with fashion, #stain with tie, #marinara

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Dilbert stands in front of his open closet and says, "I hate my shirts. Each one has either a stain or a missing button." Dilbert examines a shirt on a hanger and says, "They say engineers are not concerned with fashion, but that's not fair." Dilbert holds up two shirts and asks Dogbert who is sitting on the bed, "Which stain goes with this tie?" Dogbert replies, "Definitely the marinara."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #business plan, #start up, #provide venture capital, #lost of media, #afraid of dogs, #media hype, #greeting investors, #prospectus

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Dogbert, Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dogbert says, "The business plan for your start-up is idiotic but I'm going to provide the venture capital funding anyway." Dogbert continues, "We'll generate lots of media hype, go public and make millions by shafting greedy and ignorant investors." Dogbert continues, "The Latin word for 'close your eyes and open your mouth' is 'prospectus.'" Wally says, "This is exactly why I'm afraid of dogs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dance, #Dogbert, #employees, #hired, #more creative, #poetry, #souls, #special blend, #spiritually fulfilled, #dog with hat, #business

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Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I can make your employees more creative and spiritually fulfilled." Dogbert continues, "I use my special blend of poetry and dance to touch their souls." The Boss says, "Okay. You're hired." Dogbert stands on a desk and dances while Alice, Wally and Dilbert watch. Dogbert recites, "There once was a dog with a hat . . . Who got paid to dance like that . . ." Wally says, "Hey! My soul just healed!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dances, #dancing dogs, #go wild, #healed, #healthy, #invoice, #poems, #primal screams, #tech me, #total well being

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Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on the desk in Alice's cubicle. Dogbert asks, "Have my poems and dances healed your soul yet, Alice? The company cares about your total well being." Alice says, "Excuse me." Alice leans over the cubicle wall and shouts at the Boss, "We want more MONEY, not more dancing dogs!!! M-O-N-E-Y!! The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "So you're saying those primal screams are healthy? Can you teach me to do it?" Dogbert says, "Here's my invoice - go wild."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #inert, #leadership, #morale boosting, #next phase, #pending merger, #praised with fear, #rigor mortis, #unmotivated

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Dilbert stands with his arms extended and says to the Boss, "I'm paralyzed with fear because of the pending merger." Dilbert continues, "Thanks to your leadership I've gone from being unmotivated to being inert." Dilbert says, "I think I'm advancing to the next phase. Hello, rigor mortis!! Take me, I'm ready!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "It might be time for a morale-boosting potluck lunch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1996's comic on:


Tags #reason with idiots, #waving paw

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Dogbert sits behind Dilbert's desk and says, "From now on, I will not try to reason with the idiots I encounter. I will dismiss them by waving my paw and saying 'bah.'" Dilbert says, "Just because someone thinks differently from you doesn't mean he's an idiot, Dogbert." Dogbert waves his paw and says, "Bah."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #pig with wig, #paid for bride, #send back, #mail order bride

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Wally tells Dilbert, ". . . So my Elbonian mail-order bride turns out to be a pig with a wig." Dilbert says, "What a rip-off." Dilbert says, "You're taking this well. I'd be mad if I paid for a bride and then I had to pay to send her back." They sit down at the table to eat lunch. Dilbert says, "You did send her back . . ." Wally offers Dilbert a sandwich and says, "B.L.T.?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #budget cuts, #do more with less, #first staff meeting, #less planning, #unnecessary work

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Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "As you requested, I have learned to 'do more with less.'" Wally continues, "I'm doing more unnecessary work, with less planning, less intelligence, and less guilt." The Boss says, "I hate the first staff meeting after budget cuts." Wally adds, "And less career aspiration, too!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #good perfromance, #deal with ambiguity, #indecisive leadership, #flexible, #not indecisive

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Alice sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Alice, your performance is good, but you must learn to deal with ambiguity." Alice asks, "Did I just get blamed for your indecisive leadership?" The Boss replies, "I'm not indecisive; I'm flexible." Alice says, "That would explain how your head got where it is."