Don't Like Attitude Comic Strips - Page 5
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1000 Results for Don't Like Attitude
View 41 - 50 results for don't like attitude comic strips. Discover the best "Don't Like Attitude" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 18,
2004
Tags #profits improving, #have raise, #giving raises, #profits will plummet, #oppression, #communism
Transcript
"Now that our profits are improving, can I have a raise?" "If I start giving people raises, then profits will plummet and we'll be nowhere." "Does your bonus depend on how effectively you oppress me?" "If you don't like it, try communism."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday October 18,
2004
Tags #fall asleep, #runny nose, #sneaks in, #pinches nostrils shut
Transcript
Ratbert: Why does a runny nose stop running when you fall asleep? Dogbert: The nose fairly sneaks in at night and inches your nostrils shut. Ratbert: This is exactly why I don't like knowledge.
Wednesday January 05,
2005
Tags #receptionist, #delivery man, #attractive people, #positions
Transcript
Carol: "I might appear to be a receptionist, but I'm not." "Believe me, I know that. Companies generally put attractive people in those positions." Carol: "I don't like where this is heading." "I'll wait until she get's back. Yum-Yum."
Tuesday June 14,
2005
Tags #bill for consulting, #past year, #all in head, #recommendation, #status quo, #everything right
Transcript
Dogbert: Here's my bill for the consulting work I've done for you over the past year. The Boss: "What consulting? I haven't seen any reports." Dogbert: "I did it all in my head. I don't like to waste paper." The Boss: "What's your recommendation?" Dogbert: "Status Quo. You're doing everything right."
Thursday July 07,
2005
Tags #do something, #let you know, #spitting on forehead, #whats worng
Transcript
"When you do something that I don't like, I'll let you know by cursing and then spitting on your forehead." "Maybe you could just tell me what I did wrong." "#*$@!"
Monday August 08,
2005
Tags #good news, #Promotion, #you didn't get it, #misogyny, #screams
Transcript
The boss: I have good news about the promotion you wanted: You didn't get it! Alice: "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY CALL THAT GOOD NEWS?" The boss: "They don't like positivity."
Saturday August 27,
2005
Tags #stealth layoff, #evil director, #human resources, #worthless employees, #job no longer exists, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I call it a stealth layoff." "We move all of the worthless employees to the same project. When it's done, we tell them that their jobs no longer exist." "I don't like the look of this."
Monday April 17,
2006
Tags #drunken lemur, #written by, #project plan, #other drunken lemurs, #lemur analogies
Transcript
I need your honest opinion about my project plan. Don't hold back. "Your plan looks like it was written by a drunken lemur as a practical joke on other drunken lemurs." "Today I learned that people don't like drunken lemur analogies."